Live your love, Love your life

My New Used Car

2009-08-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

This morning, I woke up with excitement knowing that we're gonna pick up a van that is gonna be my very own car. It's second hand Nissan Quest that has considerably low mileage.
I've been hunting for a van these last 2 weeks, or I think since the truck went down. We used to have 2 vehicles, a dodge neon and a chevy truck. The chevy one day broke down and engine won't start. I prefer to have a van because it's roomy and powerful. After searched for several days, considering the specification, budget, and optional features, I came up with short list of the van mades: Honda Odyssey, Toyota Sienna, Kia Sedona, Nissan Quest, and Dodge Caravan. The features I love are: automatic transmission (it's killing me when driving in traffic with manual), leather interior, cd/radio, cold ac (you don't want to drive without ac, at least, not here in Texas), captain chairs in the middle row, power window, power door, power lock, 4 doors.
I went to craigslist.org because it has good deal on used car (and many other items, too). I made a list of the vans I found and then discussed it with my hubby, then we made contacts and came do the test drives or just looking.
Last week I found several interesting postings (including this Nissan Quest) and we made calls and appointments with the owners. Friday (August 7th, 2009), we went to Wells Branch to meet the owner of this Nissan Quest. He is a nigerian who live in appartment with his wife and two children. The van is neat and clean, the engine is clean with new battery, proved that it's been well taken care of. Once I looked in the interior I knew this is the van I like. It has everything I want, plus other features, such as sunroof, new tires, vhs player to keep little passengers entertained, and cd changer with 6 discs. We did a test drive, van runs smoothly, ac is cold, all power features work properly. I told Loel, this is the car I want. Then, we negotiated on the price and told him that we'd back to him later this afternoon since we had few other cars need to see that day.
We headed to downtown Austin to see two Toyota Sienna. None of them express my interest. Then we went to Citibank to get cash for the van. After that, we went to Anderson Lane to meet with Torry, a friend from Houston, and to have lunch. He'd been in Austin since yesterday for a short vacation before the school starts this week. We agreed to meet at Casa Chapalla for a lunch. Diane, another friend, joined us later.
After lunch we called the owner that we decided to get the van. But he didn't answer so Loel just left him a message. We went back home and took short nap. The owner called us back later and we agreed on a meeting him that evening. We gave him some down payment and the rest will be given on Monday, after finished the tittle transfer, etc.

I'm Pregnant!

2009-07-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

April 15th, 2009 Today is the big day! I found out I'm pregnant!
Thanks Jesus! Praise the Lord!
To read more click here

Last Post-Surgery Check up

2009-07-04T11:43:00.000-07:00

6 weeks after surgery I went for my last post-surgery check up. Dr. Blumhagen was happy to see the progress I made. I'm still vegetarian but no longer in 'mostly raw' diet, which made me feel better and more energized. I avoid dairy products (bye bye Ben and Jerry...). Some studies suggest that limited intake of dairy product would reduce risk of cancer, especially breast cancer. I am still doing routine walk on treadmill. I started driving around about 3 weeks after surgery, but I had to be really gentle when placing the seatbelt and when I hit break or clutch pedal. I even had sex with hubby a weeks ago..he..he.. First time in about 5 weeks!

Doctor asked me about our meeting with Dr. Teneriello, I told him we were still discussing about it. He strongly advised I do whatever Dr. Teneriello recommended and to not seeking any alternative way for help. Back in my home country, Indonesia, most doctors will support patients' needs for alternative treatment/remedies. I know many doctors who also perform alternative treatments such as accupunture, accupresure, or with herbal remedies.

My period came early again, and it was as lighter and shorter as last month. This time my cycle was only 24 days. I think it's normal for my body is still trying to adjust to new change. I'm happy that I was still able to ovulate regularly. That's a good thing.

We are still on our plan to have a family. We've been trying for 4 years now and the stork hasn't deliver the baby to us, yet. We focussed on having sex around my fertile days, but now that my cycles became slightly shorter, I decided to pin point my calendar 11-13 days after my period. I used to make chart of my BBT (basal body temperature) in the morning before I woke up, checking my afternoon urine with fertility strips, and checking my morning saliva for any sign of fertility. You can find more info about fertility checks here. I stopped doing all those efforts maybe a year ago, because they just made me more depressed at the end, when I had period. Less stress made our sex more enjoyable, Loel could perform at his best, and we're both satisfied. Yes!

Meeting With an Oncologist

2009-07-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Dr. Blumhagen refered me to an oncologist specialist, Dr. Michael Teneriello whose office is at Texas Oncology near Mopac. I made an appointment with him a day after I got home from hospital. The earliest available date was on February 10th.
I was nervous and upset since morning. I was so glad Loel understood my situation. He came with me to doctor office. When we walked into the building, I felt like I was really sick. A glimpse of my father struggling with lymphoma, having chemo, and laying in the coffin, all was played in my mind. I saw people sitting in waiting room, old and young, women and men, different races, different stages. I told myself, I should've not come here. It really brought back sad memories of my father who lost his battle againts lymphoma non-hodgkin.
I filled out layers and layers of paperworks and returned them to receptionist who then gave me a bundle of book, pamflets infos and guides about cancer. The front folder says "I can fight cancer". What a nice way to encourage people, or is it to keep them feel sick??
After moments that felt like forever, a nurse called me in. Loel came in with me. She took my blood presure, checked my weight, and took my picture (for office documentation, she said).
10 minutes later, Dr. Teneriello came in shook our hands and sat down. He told us there was rare case of ovarian cancer in my age and that there was no evidence whether or not cancerous cells were left in my body after surgery. Pathologyst report after surgery showed there was no sign of cancer in other ovary nor other reproductive organs and inside my peritoneum. Or in other word, it was clean. They only found this damn cells in my left ovary that was removed. When I asked if ultrasound, ct-scan, mri or other testing device can detect any malignant cells, he said such detector would not show good result until the cells already multiplied/metastased at some point.
Dr. Teneriello said his patients usually were detected for cancer then went for surgery to remove the cancer. Not the other way around, like my case. He did not want to play guess and took risk and so he came up with this plan : he wanted me to go through a series of chemotherapy for 6 months, followed by an exploratory surgery (I will be cut open, from chest to below abdomen) to make sure the cells no longer there. Within that period and until at least for about a year after, we cannot try to have a baby. That's it, I said to myself, my whole life shattered into pieces.... I broke down and cried...
The rest of our meeting, Loel was in charge of questioning doctor because I was too depressed. If I agreed, doctor wanted to perform the procedure as soon as possible, no later than late March. He said I still can go to work and perform daily duties. The chemical they used in modern day is safer and less destructive than before. Side effects like nausea, vomitting, losing appetite and losing hair are still to be expected. But, most patients grew their hair back within a year or so. There is also club where I can join and share how to eat healthy during chemo, etc.
After the meeting, we went back to receptionist to get bloodwork and ct-scan form. Nurse gave me a bottle of barium to drink before the procedure which was scheduled next week. After blood work, we went back home. We barely spoke to each other, Loel grabbed my hand and said things will be fine.
Few days after that meeting, I'd been busy finding facts, literatures, natural remedies, alternative treatment, etc about ovarian cancer online. I really don't want to put my body into risky chemo for something that may not even exist. I talked to my sis-in-law, Laura, who is also an herbalist and has good knowledge in alternative treatment. She gave me infos and encouraged me to find alternative ways instead of chemo because it will destroy my body ability to heal itself, even though many experts said modern chemo is safer.
From what I've read, cancer cells are damaged cells that are mutated then multiplied and growth and kill healthy cells. Some substances can cause mutation (called mutagens) and some mutagens can cause cancer (called carcinogens). Those substance includes, but not limited, asbestos, tobacco, pesticides, etc. Everyone has cancerous cells at least twice in their lifetime. With good diet and lifestyle, our body can fight these cells and keep them in control.
Nowadays, lot of people have to deal with stresses (at work, at school, at home) and our foods are treated with pesticide and other chemical in order to provide the incredibly increased demand. Fortunately, more people now are also aware about these trends and choose organic-locally grown food, minimize stress, and do proper and balanced exercise.
I'm so glad that I have good access to abundant infos and it makes me feel positive about myself and of my body ability to heal itself. I discussed with Loel and I positively WILL NOT do chemo, or other procedure that could harm my body balance. It is risky decision but I was determined to change my life: start with good healthy diet and lifestyle.
Being treated in hospital twice also made me aware of how the healthy system in the US works. Hospitals, insurance agencies, and pharmacies systematicaly work to promote health through doctors, nurses, insurance agents, and so on. Patients come to doctors, they gave them prescriptions to take. Drugs have side effect, patients get worse, they need to be hospitalized. More drugs to take, more side effects occured, more complicated the case, more specialized will be involved. It's an evil cycle. Imagine, how much the hospital, or doctor, or pharmacy or insurance can make out of one patient in a year??
No. I will not destroy my body, I will nurture it, nourish it with vitamins and nutrients, I will exercise regularly and manage my stress. I promised myself I will change and live my life to the fullest.

2 Weeks After Surgery

2009-07-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

I gradually stopped taking hydrocodone and take tylenol instead. Pain was slightly going away, but numbness and tingling sore were still there.
A week after my surgery I had my period which was 2 days earlier than I expected. It was lighter and shorter than before. I think it's normal considering I only have one ovary now. Oh well, at least it means less money spent on feminine napkins..he..he..
February 3rd, I went to Seton hospital for staples removal. I was a bit scared and even asked nurse if she would need to numb the area before does the procedure. She smiled and told me not to worry. The procedure was painless, I only heard scissors works and staples thuds and felt a bit pull and stretch on my skin here and there. She did great job!
She even told me about this scar treatment called "mederma" to fade the appearance of the scar. I only used vitamin E for the scar. I bought it in soft gel, cut it and rub the oil around my scar.
I didn't need to see Dr. Blumhagen and went straight home after that.

After Surgery, Day 3

2009-01-28T14:39:00.000-08:00

12.30AM
I was so happy with Lilis and Sef's visit. They stayed for about 2 hours, we still had more to chat but they didn't want to interrupt my resting time. It was funny how we came up with topic after topic everytime Sef pointed at the clock and gave sign 'it's time to go' to Lilis he..he..

I thought I'd sleep better tonite since my stomach stopped gurgling (it was still gassy but not so much) and my appetite was well satisfied. I was wrong. I had to ask for Vicodin which helped me sleep for few hours. My body temperature rose up a bit that made nurse watched over me more closely. It turned back to normal after few hours without any medicine.

7AM
My breakfast today was biscuit with scrambled egg, a bowl of cereal with a pint of milk, a cup of orange juice, and a cup of tea. Yum! I felt the movement afterward, but only some discharge and more gas. The steamed veggies I had yesterday have not reached the end:)

9.30AM
Dr. Blumhagen came and checked on me. He was happy with the progress I made and approved my discharge consent. I asked him about the care of incision, the diet, the exercise, etc. He said the nurse will give me some paperwork with 'to do list' later on. The incision doesn't need special treatment, I can take shower (hot or cold doesn't matter), only I have to make sure the incision area clean, well dried, and well aired. I can only wear loose fit dress, preferably cotton, nothing tight nor 'unbreathable' materials. The staples will be removed after a week in his office, which I have to call to make an appointment for. Doc also gave me a direct-after hour number of his just in case I have any question or emergency need. He said I have no special diet whatsoever, I can eat whatever I want, just like before the surgery. I'd probably have a bit constipation as the side efect of the surgery, which can be easily treated with OTC (Over the counter medication) such as Dulcolax. And my bowel movement should resumes in few days. He shook my hands, patted my shoulder, and left.

10AM
Loel came in and asked the nurse of the paperworks I have to sign before I leave. Cathy was the nurse in charge that morning. She explained what to do and what not to do and had me sign on some pages. Here are some of the list:
- do not lift or carry heavy object
- do limited household chores, such as dusting,
- avoid cooking or anything that require standing near fire/stove
- light exercise: walking is recommended, gradually add the distance
- do not stand up for long period of time
- do not drive until at least 2 weeks post op, or when I feel comfortable wearing seatbelt
- avoid having sex, nothing into the vagina, for at least 6 weeks (yaiks!)
- take pain killer as needed
Loel brought me the mask I asked last nite. I hope this will help reducing my allergy symptoms.

10.30AM
We finished with paperwork, Cathy called the volunteer to bring up the wheelchair for me. Loel got all my stuff and went down to get the car. I asked him to drop by Costco pharmacy to get my prescription. We argued at this: he wanted to drop me home then come back to get the prescription cause it will take time to fill it, I said we were close to Costco and I'd be OK sitting in the car while my prescription was filled. I won! he..he.. It was though, I sat there for about 25 minutes trying to hide my face when the cart pusher went close he..he..Loel came back with Hydrocodone (a generic name for Vicodin), a pack of spinach and some cereal.

12.00PM
We were home! Jasmine was a bit crazy, she missed me so much. I had to be really careful with her because she jumped and stomped around. I laid on the bed and realized how tired I was and I didn't even walk much. Loel made me some veggie burger. Yum! Then, I took one hydrocodone and fell asleep.

4.45PM
I woke up feeling sick, and I realized doc didn't prescribe me with antinausea medicine. Gosh! I called doctor's office right away, it was Friday and the clinic was almost close. The nurse said she will try to get the prescription for me if not I had to get OTC Emetrol. She asked which pharmacy I wanted to have it filled, I said Costco because I'll get best rate. At 5PM nurse called me to say she got the prescription. It was Prometazine (generic for Phenergan). Loel went to get it. They had trouble finding my prescription. Apparently it was prescribed by Dr. Steven Solomon, not by Dr. Blumhagen. The nurse really tried at her best!

Oh, it was so good to be home again! The incision was still sore and the skin along the incision was numb. I took hidrocodone after dinner, and took Maalox to reduce the bloating. I couldn't sleep until after 3AM. It wasn't the pain, I had so much going in my mind. Loel wasn't in our bedroom. He slept on the sofa because he didn't want to interrupt me with his bad cough. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of my dad, my mom, of happy moments we had. I missed them...

After Surgery, Day 2

2009-01-25T20:40:00.000-08:00

January 22nd,

2AM
I woke up in pain and sweat. I called nurse for some pain medication. Greg came in with Vicodin. He asked if I want one or two. God! Just give me that damn pils!! Few minutes later I became more relax and calm and fell asleep. I woke up 2 hours later when a nurse came in to check my vital. Watching tv and read a book and went back to sleep.

7AM
Greg came in his shift asked if everything is OK and measured my urine and checked my vital signs. Few minutes later Leonada came in and checked my incision and heard the gurgling in my stomach. She smiled and told me to walk some more. Another nurse came in with a tray of... liquid food. I'm bored!

9.30AM
Doctor came and checked on me. He heard the gurgling on my stomach and asked if I passed out gas. I said not yet. "Well, I'm sorry Maria, but I have to hold you here one more night. I just want to make sure everything is alright then I can let you go. OK?" I asked if there is medication I can take to get this gas out. He said there is none. "Just walking, walking, and more walking. It's the only way to get your bowel movement back to normal and that way the gas will pass out easily." I asked him if I can have veggie juice and smoothies. He said very thin veggie juice is OK, but not smoothie. He then sat down and became more serious,"Maria, I have something to tell you. The result from pathology clinic came today and it's not so good. They found what we call 'clear cell' on your left ovary. Clear cell is cell that arise from ovarian tissue and in most cases is malignant." I was shocked, stunned, couldn't find word to say. God, is it not enough for me that I have to go through this new challenge? Doctor said more, but I just couldn't digest the rest. What I could comprehend was that doctor found cancerous cell and that it's related to ovarian cancer and it was like the end of the world to me. He wrote in a piece of paper, "I will refer you to Dr. Teneriello, he's a good gynecology oncologyst. If I have a family member with the same case I would positively refer them to him." He continued,"Please Maria, don't go to chiropractor, or herbalist, or anything like that. Call this doctor first. Meet with him and discuss what further treatment you should get." I asked him, "what do you mean? Is it like chemo?" "I don't know. Maybe you have to undergo another surgery to remove your right ovary, or your lymph node, or maybe chemotherapy or other treatment. Or may be even better, you do not have to do anything else. But, please go talk to him first. OK?" We talked for another 5 minutes, he patted me and told me things will be alright and went out. No. Things are not gonna be alright for me. I can't believe I have cancer! My dad died of cancer, Lymphoma non-Hodgkin. But, I changed my diet, I've been being vegetarian for 4 years now. Why do I still get this bad cell?How? I was so devastated. I cried and asked God why.

10.30AM
Loel came with juice and smoothie I asked the night before. Once he sat down I told him what doctor said. He came to my side and said sorry,"I know it sucks, it's hard, not just for you but for both of us. If only there is anything I could do for you to make you feel better?" I said,"How about a walk?" So, we went for a walk. In and out the aisle, went down to the lobby and came back up to my bed. He helped me sitting on the reclyner on the side of my bed. And we changed topic. We decided to leave this topic behind, and Loel kept telling me to focus on my recovery and to think positive. I told him to take the smoothie back since i'm not allowed. He went back home around 12.30PM and said will come back around 5PM.

1.30PM
After finished my lunch (another serving of liquid food), I felt the urge of going so I stood up, and went to restroom. Just when I sat down, I released the gas, a lot of it..ha..ha.. I was so happy I called nurse to tell doc to see if I still can go home today. Leonada came if few minutes later. She smiled at me and said,"You just made this up so you can go home, didn't you? I told her I didn't,"I have proof and it's in the toilet." he..he.. She checked and said,"Well, congratulation then! I did call doctor but he wasn't there. I left a message with the nurse, so we just need to wait till he return my call. Meanwhile, I'm gonna call kitchen to see if we can get you a real food." Real food? Whoo hooo...! Ten minutes later a nurse came in with a tray of steamed veggies (carrot, green beans and green peas), a roll with butter, a cookie, a pint of milk, and a cup of tea. Wonderful! I wolved it down like a hungry beast he..he.. I called Loel immediatelly telling him what happened and that we're waiting for doctor to return the call to get the discharge permit. Lilis called me asking how I was doing. She said she wanted to come tonite with her husband, Sef, if it was alright with me.

5.15PM
No call from my doctor. Ugh! That means I have to wait till tomorrow. Loel came with smoothie he made this morning. Now I can have it. We went for walk. Sometimes we had to make stops to laugh, it hurt me badly ha..ha..When we came back to my room, it was almost 6.30PM. We watched Simpsons and the dinner was served: veggie burger with fries, a bowl of green salads, a creamy pudding, orange juice and a cup of tea. I shared the burger and fries with Loel and had the rest. This really satisfied my 3 days of starvation:) I went to restroom afterward, more gas came out and whatever left in my bowel after surgery. Loel left me around 7PM.

9.30PM
My eyes got tired of reading. Nothing interesting on tv. I heard knocks on the door and voice,"Maria? Are you there?" A familiar face came out the door. Lilis! She came with her husband, Sef. They brought me some donuts, Round Rock donuts, the best and only in Round Rock. I ate one and it was warm and puffy. It reminded me of the fresh local donut we used to have in Surabaya. We exchanged stories. They told me about their bad holiday. How they eagerly wanted to have beautiful new year's eve in New York. But instead, they both caught bad flu that made them stay in bed most of the days. We shared stories of our weddings and honeymoons, families, etc. She told me she found a job in this 'woman plus-size' boutique. I asked if she drives now. She still is having problem coping with bad traffic, bad drivers, and the past car crash she involved in few years ago. She's lucky to have Sef who is happy to drive her around. What a cute couple! Thanks for those donuts!

After Surgery, Day 1

2009-01-25T10:26:00.001-08:00

January 21st
Since last night, I used maybe 12-15 times of my morphine drips. The pain had became more and more unbearable as the anaesthesia wore off. But I also learned that the more frequent I used it the more sickness I'd get. This morning I had to have the nurse inject me with antinausea medicine (Zofran). It's true that morphine drips really helped me go through the pain a lot easier, and that accelerates the healing process, too. But, I have to use it with cautious.
I couldn't sleep well, every couple hour or so there was a nurse checking on me. Greg helped me lay on my side, put one pillow as prop on my back and other pillow to be hold on my abdomen. I watched some tv, or read the book I brought (The song of the bird by Anthony de Mello), or listen to my ipod shuffle. Most tvs showed repeated inauguration ceremonies. Boring!

6AM
my nostrils awaken by good smell of foods that were delivered to patients. I wonder when I could get some foods. I was really hungry, my stomach gurgled with gas, been 2 days with no food. I imagined hot, savoury Indonesian curry with white rice and fried tofu and tempe. Aaahhhh.....Greg checked me at the end of his shift and asked if I passed out gas, I said not yet.

8AM
A nice nurse lady came in and wrote her name on the white board: Leonada. She'll be my nurse until 3PM. She came to remove my urine catheter. She said, in good English accent,"From now on you can pee on your own, sweety." Less than an hour later, I called a nurse to help me to walk to restroom. Sitting up for the first time made me dizzy, everything in the room rotated and blurred. It went away after a minute or so. There was a measuring pot sitting in the toilet to check and measure my urine. Went back in bed, I experienced pain and nausea. A nurse came with Zofran injection.

9.00PM
A male nurse in blue scrub came in and introduced himself as anaesthesia assistant. He asked if I had nausea or vomiting after surgery. He checked on my oxygen level and removed my oxygen tube. "Let's see if you can breath normal without the tube. I'll check back on you in 10 minutes. OK?" When he came back later, my oxygen level was on 98% which was considered normal which means I no longer need tube. A while later, a nurse came with a tray of food. Well, it wasn't real food, though. My "meal" this morning consisted clear broth, which after several sips (since my taste was dull at the beginning) I learned that it was chicken broth (blah!), green jello (from gelatin), cranberry juice, and a cup of coffee. All tasted bad and bitter:( I asked a nurse to change the broth since I'm vegetarian (and I mentioned my special diet in the pre-op forms). I also called Loel to bring me some carrot blend juice (carrot, celery, and garlic) and smoothie. I gave him instruction of how I used to make my smoothie: frozen fruits with almond milk and orange juice blended together, then I make spirulina and wheat grass paste in a cup, then I mix the fruit smoothie and green paste together.

10.15AM
Loel came with the juice and smoothie. Yippee! He asked if I was allowed to have them, I said don't know and don't care.. he..he..I'm hungry, man! A communion minister came in a while later. I forgot his name. He gave me a communion and I had it with water. We had some good conversation later on, and he prayed for my recovery. Loel stayed for about 2 hours then went back home. He still had the cough and still refused to see doc. Man! I got some text messages from friends in Indonesia asking how I was doing.

1PM
Dr.Blumhagen came in. He checked on the incision and my vital. He then sat down and explained to me that the surgery went well. The first appearance of the mass was benign, but they sent it to pathology clinic for further evaluation. It'd take about 3-4 days to get the result. The mass was so big that it pressed my bladder and pushed my uterus down my pelvis. I was adhered to my bowel so he had to remove the scar tissue along the adhession. He took my left ovary along since it was badly damaged. Other than that all my fertility organs remains well and preserved. I was so relieved to hear that. He asked me to start to walk to stimulate my bowel movement. He also said if everything went well as he expected, I could go home tomorrow. I can't wait!

2PM
Leonada came in, "Doctor asked me to remove the dressing." Oh, not again! Ouch! Doctor wanted the wound to expose to fresh air to accelerate the healing process. I saw it was pretty scary: the incision is about 20cm, goes horizontally just above my pubic line (they shaved the pubic hair around that area), the skin folded in and was hold with 20 staples. Yes, staples like what we use in the office! She asked if I want to learn to walk some, I said maybe later, I wanted to take some nap.

3PM
Leonada came in and remove my IV drips and morphine drips. Oh no! But she left the IV line on my arm, just in case I need other injected medication or more IV drips. When Loel came in around 5PM, I told him I want to try to walk some. We walked down the corridor back and forth while he hold my hand, firmly. It was only small walk, but it drained my energy! Aaah...it was so good to be on bed again...We watched Simpsons then Loel went back home.

8PM
I finished my dinner (same one: clear liquid!) when Greg came in and asked if I want to have a little walk before I sleep. Of course! he..he.. I spent the night watching tvs and read my book. My neighbor patient seemed to have trouble breathing and coughing all nite long. God, please help her. My little iPod diminished all those noises and delivered me to fairy land...

Surgery Day

2009-01-24T08:35:00.000-08:00

The Surgery
January 20th, 2009:
My alarm rang at 4.50AM as I set last nite. But, I turned it off and went back to sleep. 22 minutes later I woke up in panic and woke Loel up. "Come on, come on, it's time!" I turned on shower and douche and then rubbed Hibiclens antimicrobial soap three times around my belly and arms (well, the direction only calls for twice, but I just want to make sure the site is immaculately clean..he..he...). I dried it with clean towel. We only slept for about 5 hours or less, since we talked a lot last nite. Loel preparing his coffee and some snacks to have while waiting for my surgery. I prayed to God and Holly Mother Mary to watch over me. At 5.36AM, we were all ready to go.

On the way, we rehearsed the worst scenario: if doc says he find cancerous cells and want to do hysteroctomy, or if doc says i need blood transfussion. Loel got all the answers right. Good! But, then he grabbed my hands and said,"You'll be OK. Let's think that everything's going smoothly.OK?"

5.50AM we entered the lobby waiting room. The receptionist told me to sit down and wait. Around 6.10AM a black guy in scrub carrying a clipboard entered the room and started to call everybody on his list. There were about 7 patients with their families. Then we followed him to the second floor where the surgery center located. He gave us short tour of the surgery waiting room, the restroom, and the recovery room which also function as pre-operation room. He explained that for outpatients, the family can come into the recovery room once the patient wakes up. But for inpatients, the family has to wait until the patient moved into his/her own room, which will be on the fourth floor. He then asked us all to follow him into the recovery room.

The room is big, with about 10 beds which each is separated with long thick curtain. A nurse in blue scrub called each of us with our doctor's name then showed our bed. "Dr. Blumhagen?" It's me! She lead me and Loel into my bed. There were two sets of blankets at the foot of the bed and a hospital gown. On the side there were an IV stand with IV bag and tube set ready, also another stand that looks like monitor. On the right side of bed there was a monitor screen on a flexible metal arm. I said,"Aha..we can watch inauguration while waiting here." But Loel said it might be a heartbeat monitor or something. About 10minutes later, another nurse in blue scrub came introduced herself as Jeena. She went through her clipboard, confirming my name, birth date, allergies concern, diet, medications and supplements I currently taking, did I do pre-op prep today, etc. Then she asked me to change into hospital gown and lay down, she gave us hospital bags to put my belongings. Few minutes later, she put some wristbands on my right arm.

White band with patients info and medical record (med rec) barcode, red band for my allergy alert, and yellow band for "Fall Prevention" means I am not allowed to fall. She put compression wraps around my legs. These wraps will be connected to a machine that will pumping air pressure to "massage" my legs. It's a routine procedure to prevent blood clot. Then she asked if I want to watch some tv, i said of course. She couldn't find the power button, I did. So, we had tv to watch while we're waiting for my doctor. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, Loel said doc might be having his breakfast at McDonnald or something. he..he..I saw other patients already in their beds with IVs and monitors on. Some of them already went to surgery rooms. Then a male nurse in scrub came to my bed introduced himself as anaesthesia assistant. He started to find my vein to place the IV line. He felt my hands were cold,"Are you nervous, Maria? Don't worry we'll make you feel comfortable. You won't feel any pain, you won't remember anything during surgery. I promise you that." Three times tries on my left hand with different size of needles, no luck, then he tried again on my right hand, still no luck. He said,"Did you forgot to bring your vein with you? Did you leave it home?" yeah..yeah..i suffer here and you made joke! He called another assistant, who is younger. He rubbed my hand with alcohol wipe, tapped it, and poked it in different site. It didn't satisfy him but he put the line in there anyway since we had to get the anaesthesia medication started. After 30minutes, which was like forever, Dr. Blumhagen came with his smiley face. Ask how was everything and grabbed my hands and promised me that I'll be OK and he'll do his best. He said he'll make a "bikini line" incission and it'll look great. He also said that I will be given 'self-inject morphine' after surgery so I won't feel any pain. I thanked him. One nurse put a clip on my left index finger to check my oxygen level, and a blood pressure monitor on my left arm. Other nurse injected me with test-dose of antibiotic, and anaesthesia medication. When Dr. Blumhagen came back and check on my clip board, he wanted other antibiotic instead. Another dose of anaesthesia injected through my vein and it was painful, like burning. So, he injected some numbing medicine afterward. He said,"Do you feel better now? This medicine will make you relax." Another nurse told Loel it was time to go, he grabbed my hands and we kissed. "Promise me you won't leave untill it's done?" "I promise. You'll be OK." Then, she lead him out.

After series of anaesthesia injections, they brought me into surgery room. I felt so relax and happy and a bit drowsy. I saw a clock showed 6.55AM. The room is big, with 2 big round lamps, wall was mostly glass shelves with blue scrubs, clothes, some metal instruments, etc. I remembered they moved me into the table, put hair cap, put blue mask on my face, and I heard people talkings...and...more talkings...and...

I don't remember a thing after that. Neither that they asked me to count down from 10, or "ok, it's time to pick the island to land" or something like that. It happened so fast. When I woke up, I already back in my bed in recovery room. Oxygen tube in my nose, different kinds of cords and tubes on my chest and both arms. I heard hissing from my legs. I heard people talks. I felt confused, numbed, drowsy, and groggy. "Why am I still laying here? Did they cancel the surgery?" A male nurse came and checked on my vital and said,"Welcome back, sleeping beauty. How are you?" I said I was groggy. He said,"It's OK. You just came back from deep sleep. You're doing great!" Then I saw the clock showed 9.33, then I passed out. Then I heard voices tried to wake me up. It was Dr. Blumhagen,"You are doing great, Maria. We took the mass out. It was pretty big (he made a figure of a ball with his hands)." I asked if everything was OK, he said yes. The first appearance shows it's benign. But to make sure, he sent eh mass to the pathology lab for further evaluation. "OK. You need some rest. We talk again when you are fully awake. OK?" I thanked him, and passed out, again. I spent 2 hours in the recovery room. It was funny how it felt like. I was in stage between conscious and unconscious all the time. I could hear people talk, but somehow it was blur, like a dream.

Out of Recovery Room

At last, I heard a nurse said they found room for me and they're gonna take me to my room soon. He told a female nurse,"Go tell her husband we're gonna take her to room 419. I believe he's in waiting room right now." Then I heard they unplugged my chest monitors and get me ready to go. I heard one of them ask if I was OK. I opened my eyes and said yes. I saw the time was 11.20. I was off again. I felt they pushed the bed out of recovery room, into the elevator, and into the room. Then I saw Loel was there! I smiled and relieved. The nurses asked if I can move myself into the room bed. I said I'll try. Loel helped and I moved successfully into the other bed. Then I was off, again:( But before long I heard nurse told Loel, "She's OK. She'll be on and off for a while. You can go home and come back later when she's awake." I heard him said something then I lost it...

When I woke up again at 12.00 nobody was in my room. My lower abdomen was numb and sore. I heard hissing again and found out it came from compression wraps on my legs. I explored my room, there was a clock on the wall, a cross with corp under it (made me wonder if this hospital is owned by a catholic charity), a sink on the right wall, a bathroom behind that wall, a huge window with nice view to I-183 traffic, a tv. TV?? Suddenly, I remember the inauguration of Barrack Hussein Obamma must be happening now. Then I looked around for a tv remote. Nothing. Then I learned that my bed rail was equipped with all control I need: the reading light, room light, tv control (channel and volume), nurse call, bed adjustment control (for back and leg comfort). Cool! So, I turned tv on, adjusted my bed, and chose the channel. Yes! It was just in time when Obama said his swear after the minister. And apparently he said it too fast, then he forgot the line, then he had to repeated the line. ha..ha.. He must be nervous. He is the first African-American president in US history. If only I could vote I'd vote for him. He's intelligent, smart, confident, and love his family. But he's gonna face lots of pressure, too in today's situation where US economy was badly damaged by Bush, Jr. and his crownies.

I could only stayed awake for about 10-20 minutes then drifting out again. That was my afternoon felt like, pretty much. I was so thirsty, my lips dried, and my throat sores. I called nurse to see if I can have a sip of water or something. Nurse came with a cup of ice chips. I couldn't drink water until anaesthesia drugs wear off. Once the ice chips melted in my mouth I felt so good, it was like finding oasis in the desert. Thank God!

I heard knock on the door, a priest in black suit came in and introduced himself as Father Richard. We had some conversation. Latter on we found out I am catholic and he is catholic priest. He serves in the chappel at the lobby. Every Wednesday, they have mass at 11.30. But, I don't think I can make it to the mass tomorrow. So, he asked if I want to have anointing of the sick sacrament, I said I do. He said prayer followed by Our Father, then he anointed my forehead and my palms with oil and skipped the communion. Father Richard stayed for a while, he said he's gonna send communion minister to serve me while I was here. Aah...another oasis in this desert island...Thank God!

I woke up again around 2PM, I think, when I started to feel pain and sore in my abdomen. It was like sharp stab randomly around my lower abdomen. I called nurse asking for pain killer. She came in and put what looks like trigger device with a little button on the tip in my finger and said, "If you feel any unconfortable pain, just press the button. It will run the morphine drips into your IV line." Gosh, I forgot all about this 'self-inject morphine' he..he..This morphine drips was controled by a computer that will deliver certain amount of morphine each time I press the button. The machine only allowed me to push button once every 10 minutes or so. To prevent illegal usage, both morphine bag and the controller were encaved in a locked-hard plastic-container, as you can see in the pic.
Alright, morphine drips, let's have some fun! Hesitatedly, I pressed my morphine drips. It only took less than a minute for the drug to get into my blood. I felt calm, comfy, and drowsy. I fell into a neverland....

I woke up when a nurse came in to check something underneath my bed. I then realized there was a urine catheter inserted into my urethra. I also realized that they removed the IV line into my left arm, just 3 inches below my wrist. Glad they did it when I was unconscious, it must be painful. Nurse checked on the thick dressing they put on top of the incision,"Looks like the wound is drained pretty good."

When I woke up again around 4.30pm, Loel was already there. He said he'd only been there for 10 minutes but did not want to wake me up. So, we were excitedly exchaged stories. Loel said it was faster that he thought. We watched Simpsons, then he went back home. He is still struggling with coughs. I told him to go to a doc and get antibiotic but he refused. He hates doctor. After he left, I fell asleep for a while until a nurse came to check my incision and my vital. His name is Greg, young and handsome,"Ma'am, I'm gonna change this dressing with the thin one." It hurt when he pulled out the tape, even he did it very gently. I need my morphine drips!

Pra Operasi

2009-01-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

Januari 19th, bangun pagi sembahyang terus mulai cari-cari apa yang bisa buat sarapan. Oh ya, dari kemarin-kemarin aku kepikiran nasi kuning dan serundeng. Aku udah beli kelapa utuh, pengen cari yang udah grated and frozed, tapi di asian market terdekat gak ada:( Oh well.. ya udahlah, extra kerja buat marut. Jam 10am kita ke Jollyfield pick up above ground pool yang kemarin aku liat di Craigslist. Sampe sana, si empunya, Becky, lagi draining airnya. Walah, ya sampe kapan keringnya? Setelah dikasih penjelasan tentang how to set up the swimming pool, kita bilang ntar balik lagi bawa truck.

Sampe rumah, Loel langsung kusuruh kupas kelapanya. Aku marut dan langsung bikin serundeng dengan resep yang masih kuingat di kepala. Sejam kemudian, nasi kuning dan serundeng udah siap. Harumnya semerbak seantero rumah. Hmmm....serasa di kampung halaman. Oh rindunya daku.... Aku langsung ambil di piring dan tanpa ba-bi-bu makan langsung pake tangan. Ooooh....yummmm....! Loel yang keliatan ada nasi kuning langsung tanya,"Ini mau ngerayain apa?" Karena dia tau tradisi nasi kuning di Jawa kan biasanya buat merayakan sesuatu. Aku bilang,"Cuman minta berkat aja. Supaya operasi besok lancaaarrr... selancar nasi kuning yang masuk ke perutku ini." ha..ha..

Jam 2pm, kita balik lagi ke Jollyfield untuk ambil pool nya. Weleh-weleh...gila, ini kolam gede amat and heavyyyy banget! Ukuran kolam 4feet by 18 feet. Pake metric ukuran 1.5m x 6m. Udah gitu yard basah and muddy banget. Walhasil kita pulang belepotan lumpur. ha..ha.. langsung masuk shower.

Jam 8.30pm aku udah gak makan apa-apa lagi. Cuman minum air. Tapi ntar jam 9.30pm aku udah mau setop, dan cuci perut pake Fleet enema sebelum bobo. Abis gitu mandi pake Hibiclens, meski tadi sore udah shower. Besok subuh, sebelum berangkat mesti shower lagi. Duh! Mana dingin lagi....brr....!

TV udah rame nyiarin pra-inauguration President Barack Obama. HBO malah udah ngadain konser kemarin malem dengan bintang2 ngetop kaya Beyonce Knowles and U2. Sayang, gue besok gak bisa liat langsung. Tapi Loel menghiburku,"Don't worry, you will see all those when you wake up. They will have it on TV all day tomorrow, and the next day...and the next day... I will record it for you if you need it." Inaugurasi kali ini benar-benar istimewa karena Obama bakal menjadi presiden hitam Amrik yang pertama sepanjang sejarah. Aku bayangin jangan-jangan ntar dokter ama nurses pada pasang tv diruang operasi. Ntar tak minta bius lokal aja supaya bisa nonton juga..ha..ha..

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 9)

2009-01-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

January 14th, as the last several days, Loel woke up before I did. I found him working on his laptop coughing and sneezing. He said he may caught some virus 'cuz he isn't feel good. But I did not feel any fever, so it's still at early stage. I told him to take colostrum, twice a day, every single day, and take some nap before we go.
11 AM we were ready to leave. Loel dropped me off at Austin Regional Clinic (ARC) then he went to Costco to get couple things. Nurse called me in around 11.40 AM to do last USG before surgery. After that, I waited 35 minutes to meet Dr. Blumhagen. He checked my blood presure, heart, and lungs, and my abdomen. Not much to be discussed since we've talked about most of it on the last visit. He said he will start with "bikini line" incission. Only if he have trouble pulling the mass out then he'd go with vertical incission. "I'll do my best, Maria. I promise you. So don't you worry. OK?" That really comforts me. He then gave me consent to sign on and prescribed me with anti allergy medication. Last thing was doing some blood work to check my blood counts and pregnancy test.
Around 1.10 PM I left ARC and went to first floor to do registration with hospital. I called Loel and he's already on the way to parking lot. More paperwork to fill and I paid for the surgery room. Then a nurse called and she gave me instructions of things to do before surgery. I gave her a list of supplements, herbs, and medication I'm curently taking and also list of drugs I should avoid because I'm allergic to them.
It was weird that she was told that I'm an outpatients, which means I don't need to stay in hospital and that they're gonna do laparoscopy, which opposed of what Dr. B told me. She called Dr. B's nurse to confirm and then she gave me different instructions. Good Lord! This small mistake could cost me life and fortune!
She asked if in case of emergency I need a blood transfussion, would I approve it? I said NO. Then she gave me consent to sign. I'm positive about this, 'cuz you may get contaminated blood and also doc convinced me that less blood to waste during the surgery. I even asked him if I need to bank my blood before surgery and he said it's not necessary. Plus, my blood counts turned out OK and I consume spinach and broccoli daily. So, I'll be just fine.
We stopped by CVS to pick up some items listed on the instruction sheet: a bottle of fleet enema, betadine douche, and Hibiclens (antimicrobial scrub/shower gel). Here's list of things to do:
- Sign in at surgery center at 6 AM on the 20th of January
- nothing taken by mouth after midnite on January 19th. This includes no water, chewing gum, breath mints, candy, chewing tobacco, liquids or food.
- No aspirin or any other blood thinner medication towards surgery
- Do fleet enema the night before surgery
- Douch in the morning of surgery
- shower with Hibiclens at night before and in the morning of surgery

I remember Novi, my friend in Surabaya, said of enema as "something that she wishes not to do it again in her life time". Is it really that bad? Hm...I guess I will find out soon.

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 8)

2009-01-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

January 5th, I woke up early, made some toasts and hot tea and headed to Austin Regional Clinic to meet with Dr. B. Nurse called me in at around 8am. 10 minutes later there were knocks on the door. Dr. came in, with proper hospitality, as usual. I told him what happened after our meeting 3 months ago, how I was in constant denial that I went from one obgyn to another. Then he said,"I understand your fear. But, let's get this thing out this time. No more wait. OK?" Then, we discussed about the surgery, what we need to prepare, what would happen during surgery, what the risks, the recovery, etc. I also asked about the pain management after surgery. He said I would be given a selft inject morphine. OK. You may think it's cool. But, it's all measured and controlled by a computer so there is no way a patient could get more than he/she needs. "You can't be too crazy with morphine..he..he.."
He even drew line around where the incisions will be. Horizontal line about 10cm on my middle left abdomen, followed by vertical line up to rib line. But, he said, if the cyst is malignant, then he'd probably make longer vertical line up to my limph node. Oh, well... Doctor said not to worry, he's gonna do his best and treat me like a family.
After consultation, I went to work. Doc told me to wait for a call about a surgery schedule. Later that day, I called Dr. K to cancel the surgery. I felt bad because Dr. K is such a sweet and nice doc, but I think I do the right thing. This is my body, and I want the best I could get and afford to get well.

****************************************

January 6th, Nancy from surgery scheduler called. She has January 20th available for my surgery and January 14th for my pre-op. I said let's do that. I told Sandi, my manager, about the new surgery schedule and she said she will revised the working schedule for next week. I'm so happy I have her as a manager. She's been being very supportive of me. Thank goodness!

**********************************

January 1oth, Lily called me to drop by to get some tempe Andreas has made. I went there and he gave me instructions of how to make the tempe starter from rice. It's very interesting. I wrote them down while we chat about my condition. Andreas asked why do you afraid of? What's your biggest fear? If you are afraid of death, it's useless 'cuz we are gonna die. It's just a matter of time and place and how. Andreas and Lily said I should get myself well prepared towards the surgery. Get enough nutrition and rest. Bring my fears and worries to God, pray rosary or novena to keep my mind away from bad thoughts. It's time to stop denying the facts that I have health problem, start to look ahead: visualize myself as a happy and healthy girl. "You decided to fight the cyst, that's a good start. Then, let God does His will. No worries. We all pray for you." Lily said, if I need religious advise, Romo Fajar will stay over nite after Indonesian mass that will be held January 18th. Oh, and btw, I think this is really good that I finally re-schedule my surgery. It gave me chance to attend this Indonesian mass. Praise the Lord! He sets everything perfectly!

*****************************************

January 11th, I went to salon after church today. I planned to cut my hair short. I think short hair is easier to maintain, especially after big surgery. And here is how I look like now:

Loel said,"Wow! You look a lot younger!" He loves my new hair cut and can't help himself to touch it every now and then. he..he..

Pregnant Veyke!

2009-01-09T20:02:00.000-08:00

Veyke said,"After 7 years in the making, finally this little guy decided to stay.
Thank you Lord, You've made it all happened."

CONGRATULATION TO ANDI AND VEYKE!

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 7)

2009-01-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Since New Year's eve, I had trouble sleeping. Or when I finally fell asleep, I woke up around 2 or 3 am and couldn't get back to sleep. I was nervous, my hands and feet were sweaty. I felt tired and sleepy at work, and could not focus on the job.
Tonight, December 3rd, before I slept, I prayed and meditated. It helped me get more rest. But I still feel nervous and depressed. I kept thinking about Dr. Kavoussi, I wonder whether I chose the right doctor to do the surgery. I remember he told us that he doesn't do this kind of surgery very often so he's gonna have his father to 'look over' his shoulder.
As always, I woke up at 3.20am. I decided to go to office room to my laptop and thought maybe if I could get my eyes really tired then I might be able to go back to sleep. I used Aetna navigator to find profiles of doctors I have visited. The result showed that Dr. Blumhagen, the first obgyn we met has better qualification, based on his experience, his education, and reviews from his patients. He is also listed on Aexcel, which means, his services meet strict criterias of Aetna insurance. His office is at Seton Northwest Hospital, which is near to us. This hospital also has a good reputation in doing the similar surgeries, based on reviews of the patients and meet the high standard of American hospital grades.
Why did I find this infos now? Why did I not do it before I confirmed the surgery date with Dr. Kavoussi? Stupid me! Or is this the way God show me?
I started to think to go back to Dr. Blumhagen. But, what about the appointment I made with Dr. Kavoussi? This morning, I wrote email to Loel with the links to the websites and infos I found. I asked him to help me to decide which doctor should I go with.

**************************************

January 4th, I was upset with Loel since he did not show his support I need. He did not read my email until I asked. All morning I waited for him to start a discussion. He didn't say anything except that he agreed to babysit Britt's kids. I felt down, I wasn't in his priority. I guess I have to go through this step alone. I have a feeling that he thought this is my decision to have a surgery. But I don't have choice! Diet shows no help, and the cyst is growing.

Eventually, he knows that I was mad. Maybe because I was so quiet most of the day. Before I went to bed, he said sorry and asked if there was anything he can do to make me feel better.

**************************************

January 5th morning, I decided to call Dr. Blumhagen to see if I can get an appointment that day. Too bad, his schedule was tight. But there was an early appointment available for the next morning, so I took it. I called Sandi, my manager, to let her know that the surgery schedule might be changed. To my surprise, I missed the call from Dr. Kavoussi's office eventhough I had my cell with me all day that day.

Loel called to have an update of the situation. I was happy with his call. On the way home, I dropped by at Kohls and bought some night gowns. I would need them after surgery. I also think of cutting my hair short for easy maintenance. My hair is almost waist long now and takes time to take care of it.

******************************************

Happy New Year!

2009-01-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

December 31st, I got a call from Dr. Kavoussi's office about the date of my surgery. She asked if January 13th is OK for me. I said yes. The pre-op would be the day before surgery where I would be on liquid diet all day, no solid food and dairy allowed. After midnite, I have to avoid any kind of food and beverage until the surgery. I should avoid taking any pain relieve a week before surgery. I need to take Dulcolax or Mirulax to ease constipation that is expected after surgery. I wrote all this instruction on my notebook.

That new year's eve, we stayed home. We rented some movies and open a champagne when the time hits 12:00. I cooked some Indonesian dishes: sayur lodeh (young jackfruit cooked in coconut milk with spices), nasi kuning (yellow rice), and perkedel jagung (corn fritter). I told Loel, my mom used to cook these dishes on special occasion but with more side dishes, such as fried chicken, sambal goreng tempe (fried tempe and potato in red chili sauce), tofu, emping, and serundeng (fried grated coconut with ground meat). They really brought back sweet memories of my families and friends in Surabaya.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, hunny!

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The day after New Year, Lily called me, invited us to her house. She had the turkey cooked. That was the 15lbs turkey I got from work. Loel made traditional American dishes: blackeye peas and corn bread. He said, we have to eat this to bring good luck in the coming year.
It was more like a private dinner attended by 3 other families. I brought my leftover Indonesian dishes and Loel brought his so we can have different dishes from different cultures.
We went back home at around 9pm feeling tired, maybe still had a bit hang over, too. That was a good champagne, I must say...he..he.. Oh, and my resolution is simple, get rid of this cyst and get well, and stay healthy. Amen!

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 6)

2009-01-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

As Dr. Kavoussi's nurse told me before, I had to call them on the first day of my cycle so that they can set up the date of my surgery. Today, December 30th, my period started. I called the nurse.
She asked,"When did it start?"
I said,"About 10 minutes ago"
She asked, "Does it flow?"
I answer,"No."
She said,"OK. Call us back when it flows."
What???
I don't understand what the flow has to do with my surgery date?? This is just ridiculuos.
But I did call her again few hours later, just before the clinic close.

*****************************************

I started to walk and run daily From what I read, walking will help me recover faster after surgery. Our treadmil that used to stay folded and dust-wrapped in the corner of our front porch now is back to work. To motivate myself, I uploaded my favorite songs into my iMac shuffle before I jump on the treadmil. Sometimes I was carried away with the songs that I sang loudly. So loud that Loel came out and said,"OK. I think we need to adjust the speaker a bit low. Can we?" he..he.. I never thought it'll be this fun! I gradually add up my speed and distance. But my daily goal is not less than one mile.
I'm still taking my supplements and herbs but stop doing the 'mostly-raw' diet. I eat lots of spinach to build up my blood cell and drink my 'greens' smoothie daily. I made this smoothie by blending mixed frozen fruits (mango, pineapple, peach, and strawberry) with spirulina and wheat grass powder. This, together with colostrum and thymulus, help relieve my allergy to cedar polen that is high for the last few days.
God! Allergy! Sneezing, snorting, coughing... these are to be avoided after surgery. The image of my sutures ripped open after sneezing came suddenly before my eyes...geee....what should I do?? A friend at work who underwent 2 times cesarean told me to use pillow and press it againts my abdomen whenever I need to sneeze or cough or even laugh. OK. One problem solved! But I'm still nervous. Jesus, please help me...

Christmas 2008

2008-12-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

As always, we celebrated Christmas at our house. Britt's family and Sandy (Mary's mom) came over and brought their gifts. Kids were so crazy with their gifts and parents, too. Mary loves her gift so much. Britt needs a little tutorial of how his gift would help preserve his wine he..he.. I got my pedicure tools and new slippers from my hubby. I got him a software to convert his vinyl collections into CDs. He really loves it!

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 5)

2008-12-16T21:54:00.000-08:00

Monday, December 15th, my husband and I left the house at 9.05am to Dr. Kavoussi office. I was nervous my hands cold sweated. We'd sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes before the nurse called my name. We came into the same exam room and waited for the doctor to come in. Dr. Kavoussi came about 15 minutes later. He shook our hands and started explaining the CT scan result and CA-125 result. Everything looks OK. There is no sign of possible cancerous cell in my abdomen and lung cavities. My CA-125 is 31 which is under the permitted rate (35) which means no cancer mark found in my blood. From what I read online, CA-125 is not always acurate, unless done repeatedly. And I did. My CA-125 result 2 months ago turned out negative so did it now.
I gave you a brief of what stated in the result form:
LUNGS : The lung bases are clear
PERITONEAL CAVITY: No ascites
LIVER: Normal
SPLEEN: Normal
GALLBLADDER: Normal
GI TRACT: Normal. Appendix is not seen. No percecal inflammation is identified

RETROPERITONEUM: No adenopathy is seen
PANCREAS: Normal
ADRENAL GLANDS: Normal
KIDNEYS: Normal
AORTA/IVC: The aorta/IVC is normal in caliber

PELVIS
URINARY BLADDER: Compressed by the large cystic mass of the left ovary
UTERUS: Compressed and displaced to the left by the large cystic mass of the left ovary
OVARIES: There is a 12.5 x 12.7 x 11.4 cm predominately cystic mass of the left ovary that does not contain calcifications. The right ovary appears normal deep in the right pelvis
RECTUM AND SIGMOID: Normal
LYMPH NODES: Normal

IMPRESSION:
Enlarging left ovarian cystic mass most likely an ovarian cystadenoma or cystadenomacarcinoma. No evidendence of omental disease or lymphadenopathy present at this time.

Cystadenomas?? This is way far beyond what I expected. Doctor explain there are 2 type of cystadenomas: serous and mucinous. Serous means it filled with watery fluid and about 2-6 cm in size. Mucinous contains sticky, thick gelatinous material and can grow very large. There are rare cases where this tumor can grow up to 40 inches in diameter and weighs 100lbs!

Weird! So, the cyst is NOT in my right ovary, as 3 doctors thought before. Also, it is not endometroid nor dermoid as the previous diagnoses. This confirms the transvaginal USG result before where doctor found that my cyst consists of two components: solid and fluid. In my case, doctor said, it looks like this cyst grow from germ cell outside the ovary in my peritoneal cavity and as it grow large it intermingled (somehow maybe even connected) with my left ovary. When I asked him, how does this cyst appear, doctor said there are many ways (read my previous article http://arisan-loveandlife.blogspot.com/2008/12/my-strugle-with-cyst.html). In my case, he thinks, it is something that "suddenly" or "spontaneously" happen and there is no way to prevent it. Genetical factor may add odd to this. It reminds me of my best friend who suffers from "spontaneous pneumothorax". It is a condition where the lung(s) could suddenly collapse without any early symptom. Esther would probably says,"Welcome to the club, Maria!" he..he..
By the way, Ther, I'm really sorry that I made you so upset for not answering your question straight ahead. I'm sorry that I "play game" with your worryness. I hope I'm still your sister. But, hey, I made you read this blog and call me...he..he.. Thanks for your call and support. It really helps me go through all this.
Back to the clinic, doctor explained the possible scenario of the surgery. Oh, FYI, he's not gonna do the surgery but his father (Dr. Kavoussi Sr.) would since he's been performing this kind of surgery for long time. There is gonna be another doctor during the operation (an oncology specialist) who's gonna perform pathology right after the cyst is taken out.
First, doctor will make horizontal incission on my lower abdomen, just above the pubic line. And, consider the size of my cyst, doctor would probably make vertical incission also to get a better look into my abdomen cavity. I was stunned, the image of having my stomach cut open with the small horizontal incission already made me sick. Now, they are gonna make a criss-cross cut. Oh Lord! This is not fun at all! I grabbed Loel's hand and he rounded his arm around my shoulder.
Next, doctor will take the cyst out and works at his best to preserve my left ovary. But, if the ovary is too damaged, then doctor will have to take it out. "Your health is our priority here, Maria." Another scenario: "If they find out there are some cancerous cell in the cyst, we will check on the other usually gonna take organs or parts that might be affected. At the very worst scenario, we will go ahead with histerectomy." Wait a minute! That means they are gonna take all my female organ out of my body?? No way! I'm still young, and we haven't started our family, yet. Doctor calmed me down,"We're talking about any possible situation that might happen during the surgery. That is why we are here now, I provide you with all possible scenario, even the worst one, and I want to know what would you like us to do. Loel said,"We want to keep her fertility organs as far as we could. So, please do your best to preserve them."
At the end, we told doctor that we need to discuss about this and will let him know in a few days. We left his office and went back home.
I almost forgot that I had another appointment with my dentist. My dentist needed to extract my lower left wisdom tooth. So, it will be like a little surgery. The tooth was badly decayed, has a big cavity on the side and from x-ray dentist said there is no way to save it and I had to let it go. Oh well... So, I dropped Loel home, I told him I'd be fine and I can drive back home after the procedure.
At the clinic, my dentist gave me oral and injected sedation and the process began. It took him about an hour to extract that damn tooth. He had to cut the tooth into two pieces to ease the extraction. After cleaning the canal area, he made few stiches to close the incission. He then asked if I want to see what my tooth looked like. It was nasty!
Then nurse gave me pain killer medicine, some gauze to stop bleeding and a list of things NOT to do after the surgery. Some of them are: do not drinking from the straw, do not drink soda/any kind of carbonated beverage, and do not smoke because any of these would create a dry air socket that cause a blood clot that may be fatal. She told me to comeback in a week to take the sutures out and to check up the wound.
I tell you guys, today was not one of my best days in life. Hey, but I learn my lesson: take care of yourself, or you'll be sorry. Second lesson, do not play game with Esther or she's gonna find and get you...he..he..

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 4)

2008-12-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

I had no idea what is the "prep" for the CT (Computed Tomography) scan. Stupid me I did not ask, I guess because I was too shock to learn that the cyst is still growing. Once again, thanks to internet, I searched online what to expect on CT scan so I can get myself ready.
Wednesday, December 10th, I had my breakfast early. When the clock hit 10am, I stop eating anything, only drank water. 11.30am I drove to Austin Regional Clinic at Quarry Lake which is near Costco, where I work. I gave the test form to the nurse in the front desk and sat in the waiting room. 10 minutes later, the other nurse called my name and she asked if I fast today. Then she lead me to another sitting room inside and gave me about 24oz of barium to drink. Barium is a chemical salt that works as a dye in our body so that the scanner could give a good impression of the targeted organ. Nurse told me to drink it up and she said there's gonna be another 12oz to drink just before the procedure. I asked whether it will make me urinate later on, she said no, because barium will go to my digestive system not to my bladder. Hm, interesting! So, I drank it up, it's banana flavor...yuck... I should've asked if they have strawberry flavor. I gave the empty cup back to the nurse which surprised her of how fast I drank. She then told me to wait for 2 hours to give barium enough time to fill up my abdomen cavity.
So, I spent my time working on my laptop. I had a calendar project with Photoshop to finish. I was thinking to chat with Loel but, to my surprise, there is no internet connection detected. Weird! Oh well, at least I have something to work to kill the time.
Two hours later, another nurse called my name and asked me to undress and wear the hospital gown, I have to remove all jewelry and other metal stuff that might intefere with the scanner. Then she lead me to the CT scan room. I sat there and she gave me another cup of barium to drink. Then she asked me to lay down. She put a pillow under my legs, spreaded blanket on me, and said that she's gonna give me some IVs for a contrast scanning. She inserted the needle in my right arm as the IV (intravenous) line and put my arms above my head. She said the whole process would take about 15 minutes.
Then there I went under the scanner. The machine told me to hold breath and to breath in. After series of scans, about 7 minutes later, the nurse came in and told me that she'd gonna give me the contrast injection (it's an iodine based solution). A bottle of saline solution and a bottle of contrast run through a tubing into a power-assisted injector then into the IV line that was placed in my arm. She explained that this contrast will give me funny feeling like flushing sensation, a salty or metallic taste in the mouth, urinating like feeling, and a brief headache, or nausea and/or vomiting. "If you have difficulties of breathing, numbness, sweatness, or heart palpitation, let us know. OK? That means you are allergic to this contrast." And just when the contrast entered my blood vessel, I felt all those sensations.
About 5 minutes later, the nurse came back in. "OK. You are done, sweety." She removed my IV and asked if I feel alright. I was a bit dizzy, other than that I was fine. I went out, change to my dress, and put all my project into my bag. Nurse gave me a piece of paper to give to the check out desk staff outside. I checked my cell there was 2 misscalls from Loel. I called him back told him that everything was fine and that I was ready to drive back home.
An hour later, I started to have gurgling in my stomach and a bit dizziness. I got diarrhea until the next day, which was expected as an after-effect of barium. Later that day, a nurse from Dr. Kavoussi office called me. She said doctor wanted to discuss with me about the CT result. I said I cannot do it tomorrow nor Friday. So I decided to go on Monday, December 15th.

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 3)

2008-12-15T17:00:00.000-08:00

It has been 2 months and 2 weeks since my visit to the second obgyn. Well, actually I went to the third obgyn for second opinion. But he has the same diagnose: ovarian cyst in my right ovary and need a surgical removal. Anyhow, I'm still doing my mostly-raw diet and taking herbs, vitamins, and supplements. The good thing about this diet is I lost weights but at the same time I feel more energized. I lost about 12lbs (about 5.5kgs) now I only weigh 103lbs (about 47kgs). Maybe because I cut a lot of fat that comes mostly from dairy products. (FYI: even though I was a vegetarian, I loved to eat cheese (especially cheddar cheese) and ice cream (Ben&Jerry is my favorite...oh God...they are heavenly good!).
My diet now includes more greens and whole grains. Drink plenty of water, orange or lemon juice (citrus fruits are among the alkaline foods, which are good for you), and almond or rice milk to substitute cow milk. My husband made fresh sun flower sprouts and almond milk every 2-3 days. Wholefood market and Sun Harvest become our favorite shopping destinations for organic foods. One thing you should know about fresh produce, always try to get one that is locally-grown. It means less time for transportation, which means less gasoline used, which means less carbon in the air and less contamination.
My period cycle is also becoming more regular (between 28-29 days) and I experience no pain that used to come with the period. Some of you may be familiar with that feeling, it's like having your lower abdomen twisted and squeezed. For some women, it may be accompanied with nausea, vomiting, cold sweat, light headed, even faint. I'm so happy that I no longer have to use my Midol to ease my pain.
Above all, I feel great and positive that this diet would work and I am ready to get another check up. So, I set up another appointment with yet another obgyn my friend, Ati, refered me to. I searched his profile online and he has a pretty good reviews from his patients. With my previous obgyns, I felt like a hopeless experimental mouse. They left me with limited information about what I'm going through. Thanks to internet technology, I'm able to search any kind of info I need and digest it.
The appointment was scheduled on Monday, December 8th. My husband was my companion. We came 10 minutes before to give me time filling out some paperworks. After about 30 minutes later, nurse called me and I went in. She checked my vital status: height, weight, blood pressure and pulse. Then I waited for another 15 minutes before doctor went in my room. Oh, and by the way, I did not tell him about my cyst problem. I wanted him to find it out himself and give me an updated result.
He reviewed my medical history and we talked about the possible fertility program that we might be doing. Then, came that moment when he put his hand on me and felt the bump on my abdomen. "What is this? Would you mind if we do some USG today?" I said, not a problem. Then, nurse took me to USG room and asked me to take my clothings waist down and laid on examine table. Doctor came in and did transvaginal usg to get a better look inside my reproduction organs. OK. I said to myself and pray, 'everything is gonna be alright... the cyst is shrinking now.. Oh God, please...it's going away..."
Doctor was surprised, but not as much as I was, "Wow, it looks like you have a really big cyst in your right ovary. The size is about 11cm by..." I felt my heart was about to jump with jolly. But then, he continued,"...ok...it's about 11cm by 12cm." I felt just like a balloon being popped out by an arrow. That damn cyst is growing. After all this diet and efforts and prayers, the cyst is still growing. Even bigger. I was stunned, did not know what to say. My tears ran through my cheeks. Doctor patted my hand to comfort me and asked if I want my husband to come in. I said yes. Then I dressed up, Loel came in, and we talked about the new finding.
Bassically, he recommended the same thing: open surgery. But, not like the other doctors I met before, he explained the details about what he found and step by step procedure that I might go through next. I was so devastated and frustrated, for sure. I felt that this holistic program only gave me false healthier feeling. But the way the doctor talked to us with such an empathy approach made me feel comfortable and he reassured me that things might not be as bad as they look like.
He then requested for a CA-125 blood test and CT scan. CA-125 is short for cancer antigen, is a test to mark any sign of cancerous cell in ovary and other reproduction organs. I did the blood test the same day but the CT scan must be done in certain hospitals which has the facility. I picked one that is close to us. Nurse made an appointment via phone and wrote notes for me. I have to do 4 hours fasting prior to the procedure. The appointment was set up for December 10th at 2pm. I can only drink water, or plain tea or coffee after 10am and I have to be at the clinic at noon to do some prep.

My Experience with Ovarian Cyst (part 2)

2008-12-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

It was a nice autumn afternoon on September 26th, my husband and I decided to go to obgyn to have us checked for fertility. We've been married for 4 years and been trying to conceived since our first nite with no luck. I did search online and bought some fertility test strips and ovulite test. I check my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) every morning toward my estimated fertile days. We are both vegetarian, non-smokers and live a healthy life style. I feel like I did everything and think that it is time to seek for some expert's help. My husband agreed with me.
At the clinic, obgyn reviewed our medical hystories then he was ready to refer us to a fertility doctor. But, when he examined me, he found a lump in my abdomen. USG result showed a large mass in my right ovary with the size of 9cm by 13cm. My obgyn requested for a blood test and recommended a surgery. Since the mass is large, as he explained to me, the cyst must be removed through laparotomy, means it'll be an invasive major surgery with estimated 7-9 inches incission. I was shock to learn that the "small complex cyst" I have since 2 years ago keeps growing. I know the previous obgyn told me to come back in few months to close-monitor the cyst which, back then it's size was only 2cm by 3cm. But, as I experience no pain whatsoever and my period comes regularly, plus doctor said it may dissolved in few months, I did not have it checked.
We went back home feeling upset. We did search online to find more infos about this cyst and I stumbled into this website http://www.ovariancystsnomore.com/. It offers an e-book that contains diet and holistic way to get free of ovarian cyst. I was so frustrated and the image of having my abdomen cut open really frightened me out. So, I bought this e-book and started to buy all the supplements needed for the treatment soon after. As suggested, I changed my diet to mostly-raw, means 70% of what I eat should be raw, uncooked. We eat only organic food whereever possible. And I should avoid 3 "evil" things: dairy products, soy, and gluten grains. We started to grow our own sprouts, mung bean, amaranth, sun flower, lentils, etc. I made smoothies with wheat grass and spirulina. We replace cow milk and cheese with almond milk and cheese. I limit consumption of egg and white rice. Drink lots of water mixed with apple cider vinegar in the morning to cleanse my system, which is followed with drinking Total EFA oil, extra virgin coconut oil, olive oil with lemon juice.
My husband is a really good supporter. I'm so proud of him. He even slow down on coffee and alcohol since we learn that caffein and alcohol are among the list of acid foods. Our environtment has been feminized througout centuries because our diet contains lots of acid food that parts come from using chemical pesticide and cleaning product. Our bodies need to be alkalinized to balance the acidity.
Anyway, the blood test (CA-125) turned out normal. It relieved me a bit. I called my obgyn to put the surgery on hold since I'm going to do this holistic method first. I really hope and pray this diet with supplements would be my gateway to live free without cyst. Diet was a bit hard at the beginning. Sometimes, I was tempted to some tasty potato chips or my favorite cheddar cheese or a cup of Starbucks frapuccino with fluffy cream on top. Yum...! But every time I ate them I felt guilty and wrong and it consumed my mind for the next few days. So, whenever I craved for them, I simply rubbed the bump on my belly and started to visualize this: a good chunk of cheese that is getting smaller and smaller as I was able to control my cravings.
The holistic program takes about 60 days for the cyst to show positive result. But since my cyst is pretty big, it would take longer to dissolve. I plan to follow this program closely and have the cyst checked after 2 months. If there is any sign of shrinkage, I will keep on doing this program. But if the opposite occurs (means the cyst gets bigger or worse) then I have to consider a surgery. For now I just want to focus on this diet and my other visualization: me being pregnant with the baby and as the baby grows it eats the cyst bit by bit until it's gone. Gross...ha..ha..

My Experience With Ovarian Cyst (part 1)

2008-12-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with complex cyst in my left ovary. The size was 2cm by 3cm. Doctor recommended pap smear test and blood test. Unaware about this, I searched online, through many health sites and found some facts that I did not get from my doctor. I'd like to write here so that you, my fellow ladies, would become aware of your own bodies and take a good care of them.

Description of Ovarian Cyst
An ovarian cyst is any collection of fluid, surrounded by a very thin wall, within an ovary. Any ovarian follicle that is larger than about two cm is considered an ovarian cyst. An ovarian cyst can be as small as a pea, or larger than a cantaloupe.
Most ovarian cysts are functional in nature (some say "simple cyst"), as they are parts of menstruation cycles and have nothing to do with disease. We start puberty with about 400,000 egg-producing follicles in our ovaries. Each month hundreds of these follicles attempt to develop, fail to do so and (sadly) die. Only one (rarely several) succeeds in it’s developmental effort and continues the process that allows it to produce a mature egg. It enlarges, produces estrogen and secretes fluid that surrounds the egg, then breaks open and releases the egg into the fallopian tube during ovulation. Once its egg is extruded, the follicle continues to function for the next two weeks as a corpus luteum secreting both estrogen and progesterone; hormones that prepare the uterine lining to receive and nourish a possible pregnancy. In the absence of a pregnancy, the corpus luteum collapses and disappears. Hence, each month that a woman ovulates, a small ovarian cyst is formed; this usually measures 1.5 to 2 centimeters. Subsequent to the release of the egg, this cyst or corpus luteum may collect a small amount of blood prior to its degeneration.
the egg is not released during a woman's cycle, the ovary can fill up with fluid. Usually these types of cysts will go away after a few period cycles.
Most of ovarian cysts are benign (harmless, noncancerous). Ovarian cysts affect women of all ages. They occur most often, however, during a woman's childbearing years.
Some ovarian cysts cause problems, such as bleeding and pain. Surgery may be required to remove cysts larger than 5 centimeters in diameter.

Types of Cyst

1. Graafian follicle cyst
One type of simple cyst, which is the most common type of ovarian cyst, is the graafian follicle cyst, follicular cyst, or dentigerous cyst. This type can form when ovulation doesn't occur, and a follicle doesn't rupture or release its egg but instead grows until it becomes a cyst, or when a mature follicle involutes (collapses on itself). It usually forms during ovulation, and can grow to about 6cm (2.3 inches) in diameter. It is thin-walled, lined by one or more layers of granulosa cell, and filled with clear fluid. Its rupture can create sharp, severe pain on the side of the ovary on which the cyst appears. This sharp pain (sometimes called mittelschmerz) occurs in the middle of the menstrual cycle, during ovulation. About a fourth of women with this type of cyst experience pain. Usually, these cysts produce no symptoms and disappear by themselves within a few months. Ultrasound is the primary tool used to document the follicular cyst. A pelvic exam will also aid in the diagnosis if the cyst is large enough to be seen. A doctor monitors these to make sure they disappear, and looks at treatment options if they do not.

2. Corpus luteum cyst
Another is a corpus luteum cyst (which may rupture about the time of menstruation, and take up to three months to disappear entirely). This type of functional cyst occurs after an egg has been released from a follicle. The follicle then becomes a secretory gland that is known as the corpus luteum. The ruptured follicle begins producing large quantities of estrogen and progesterone in preparation for conception. If a pregnancy doesn't occur, the corpus luteum usually breaks down and disappears. It may, however, fill with fluid or blood, causing the corpus luteum to expand into a cyst, and stay on the ovary. Usually, this cyst is on only one side, and does not produce any symptoms.
It can however grow to almost 10cm (4 inches) in diameter and has the potential to bleed into itself or twist the ovary, causing pelvic or abdominal pain. If it fills with blood, the cyst may rupture, causing internal bleeding and sudden, sharp pain. The fertility drug clomiphene citrate (Clomid, Serophene), used to induce ovulation, increases the risk of a corpus luteum cyst developing after ovulation. These cysts don't prevent or threaten a resulting pregnancy. Women on birth control pills usually do not form these cysts; in fact, preventing these cysts is one way the combined pill works. In contrast, the progesterone-only pill can cause increased frequency of these cysts.

3. Hemorrhagic cyst
A third type of functional cyst, which is common, is a Hemorrhagic cyst, which is also called a blood cyst, hematocele, and hematocyst. It occurs when a very small blood vessel in the wall of the cyst breaks, and the blood enters the cyst. Abdominal pain on one side of the body, often the right side, may be present. The bleeding may occur quickly, and rapidly stretch the covering of the ovary, causing pain. As the blood collects within the ovary, clots form which can be seen on a sonogram. Occasionally hemorrhagic cysts can rupture, with blood entering the abdominal cavity. No blood is seen out of the vagina. If a cyst ruptures, it is usually very painful. Hemorrhagic cysts that rupture are less common. Most hemorrhagic cysts are self-limiting; some need surgical intervention. Even if a hemorrhagic cyst ruptures, in many cases it resolves without surgery. Patients who don't require surgery will experience pain for 4 - 10 days after, and may require several days rest. Studies have found that women on tetracycline antibiotics recover 25% earlier than the majority of patients, a surprising correlation found in 2004. Sometimes surgery is necessary, such as a laparoscopy ("belly-button surgery" that uses small tools inserted through one or more tiny slits in the abdomen).

4. Dermoid cyst
Dermoid cysts (also called benign cystic teratoma) are the most common form of benign ovarian tumors in young women. These develop from germ cells which are primitive cells that are capable of producing eggs and all human tissues. A dermoid cyst is formed if the germ cells multiply bizarrely without fertilization, forming an encapsulated tumor that contains hair, sebaceous or oil materials, cartilage, bone, neural tissue and teeth. Dermoid cysts are most commonly diagnosed in women between the ages of 20 and 40. They range in size from one to 45 centimeters. Up to 15 percent of dermoid cysts occur on both ovaries. The good news is that 98 percent of these tumors are benign. Only on rare occasions do the overactive germ cells form malignant tumors (malignant teratomas).

5. Endometrioid cyst
An endometrioma, endometrioid cyst, endometrial cyst, or chocolate cyst is caused by endometriosis, and formed when a tiny patch of endometrial tissue (the mucous membrane that makes up the inner layer of the uterine wall) bleeds, sloughs off, becomes transplanted, and grows and enlarges inside the ovaries. As the blood builds up over months and years, it turns brown. When it ruptures, the material spills over into the pelvis and onto the surface of the uterus, bladder, bowel, and the corresponding spaces between. Treatment for endometriosis can be medical or surgical. Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) are frequently used first in patients with pelvic pain, particularly if the diagnosis of endometriosis has not been definitively established. The goal of directed medical treatment is to achieve an anovulatory state. Typically, this is achieved initially using hormonal contraception. This can also be accomplished with progestational agents (i.e., medroxyprogesterone), danazol, gestrinone, or gonadotropin-releasing hormone agonists (GnRH), as well as other less well-known agents. These agents are generally used if oral contraceptives and NSAIDs are ineffective. GnRH can be combined with estrogen and progestogen (add-back therapy) without loss of efficacy but with fewer hypoestrogenic symptoms. Laparoscopic surgical approaches include ablation of implants, lysis of adhesions, removal of endometriomas, uterosacral nerve ablation, and presacral neurectomy. They frequently require surgical removal. Conservative surgery can be performed to preserve fertility in young patients. Laparoscopic surgery provides pain relief and improved fertility over diagnostic laparoscopy without surgery. Definitive surgery is a hysterectomy and bilateral oophorectomy.

6. Cystadenomas
This is a type of cyst that arise from benign tumors and are more likely to occur in older women. These arise from cells on the outer surface of the ovary that secrete a watery or jelly-like fluid. Cystadenomas can become quite large and cause pain. The most worrisome (and largest) are mucinous cystadenomas. They are filled with a sticky, thick, gelatinous material which can seed onto other pelvic and abdominal surfaces causing multiple growths and collections of mucinous fluid. These tend to recur and may ultimately be fatal.

7. Pathological cysts
The incidence of ovarian carcinoma (malignant cancer) is approximately 15 cases per 100,000 women per year.
Other cysts are pathological, such as those found in polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), or those associated with tumors.
A polycystic-appearing ovary is diagnosed based on its enlarged size — usually twice normal —with small cysts present around the outside of the ovary. It can be found in "normal" women, and in women with endocrine disorders. An ultrasound is used to view the ovary in diagnosing the condition. Polycystic-appearing ovary is different from the polycystic ovarian syndrome, which includes other symptoms in addition to the presence of ovarian cysts, and involves metabolic and cardiovascular risks linked to insulin resistance. These risks include increased glucose tolerance, type 2 diabetes, and high blood pressure. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is associated with infertility, abnormal bleeding, increased incidences of pregnancy loss, and pregnancy-related complications. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is extremely common, is thought to occur in 4-7% of women of reproductive age, and is associated with an increased risk for endometrial cancer. More tests than an ultrasound alone are required to diagnose polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Symptoms
Some or all of the following symptoms may be present, though it is possible not to experience any symptoms:
Dull aching, or severe, sudden, and sharp pain or discomfort in the lower abdomen (one or both sides), pelvis, vagina, lower back, or thighs; pain may be constant or intermittent -- this is the most common symptom
Fullness, heaviness, pressure, swelling, or bloating in the abdomen
Breast tenderness
Pain during or shortly after beginning or end of menstrual period.
Irregular periods, or abnormal uterine bleeding or spotting
Change in frequency or ease of urination (such as inability to fully empty the bladder), or difficulty with bowel movements due to pressure on adjacent pelvic anatomy
Weight gain
Nausea or vomiting
Fatigue
Infertility
Increased level of hair growth
Increased facial hair or body hair
Headaches in some cases
Strange ribs pains, which feel muscular
Bloating
Occasionally, strange nodules that feel like bruises under the layer of skin
Feeling of lumps on the lower abdomen

Treatment
Treatment for cysts depends on the size of the cyst and symptoms. For small, asymptomatic cysts, the wait and see approach with regular check-ups will most likely be recommended.
Pain caused by ovarian cysts may be treated with:
pain relievers, including acetaminophen (Tylenol), nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil), or narcotic pain medicine (by prescription) may help reduce pelvic pain. NSAIDs usually work best when taken at the first signs of the pain.
a warm bath, or heating pad, or hot water bottle applied to the lower abdomen near the ovaries can relax tense muscles and relieve cramping, lessen discomfort, and stimulate circulation and healing in the ovaries. Bags of ice covered with towels can be used alternately as cold treatments to increase local circulation.
chamomile herbal tea (Matricaria recutita) can reduce ovarian cyst pain and soothe tense muscles.
urinating as soon as the urge presents itself.
avoiding constipation, which does not cause ovarian cysts but may further increase pelvic discomfort.
in diet, eliminating caffeine and alcohol, reducing sugars, increasing foods rich in vitamin A and carotenoids (e.g., carrots, tomatoes, and salad greens) and B vitamins (e.g., whole grains).
combined methods of hormonal contraception such as the combined oral contraceptive pill -- the hormones in the pills may regulate the menstrual cycle, prevent the formation of follicles that can turn into cysts, and possibly shrink an existing cyst. Also, limiting strenuous activity may reduce the risk of cyst rupture or torsion.
Cysts that persist beyond two or three menstrual cycles, or occur in post-menopausal women, may indicate more serious disease and should be investigated through ultrasonography and laparoscopy, especially in cases where family members have had ovarian cancer. Such cysts may require surgical biopsy. Additionally, a blood test may be taken before surgery to check for elevated CA-125, a tumor marker, which is often found in increased levels in ovarian cancer, although it can also be elevated by other conditions resulting in a large number of false positives.
For more serious cases where cysts are large and persisting, doctors may suggest surgery. Some surgeries can be performed to successfully remove the cyst(s) without hurting the ovaries, while others may require removal of one or both ovaries.
(Sources: Wikipedia health articles, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, 1999c; Mayo Clinic, 2002e, MSNBC Health Today)

Working In USA

2008-11-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

When my best friend, Fida Abbott, sent me email to join her writing contest themed “Being an Expatriate” I was blank. My only knowledge was the term “expatriate” is used to name the person (from Western country) who works abroad. I started by searching for the meaning of the word “expatriate”. Wikipedia has a pretty good explanation: a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country and culture other than that of the person's upbringing or legal residence. Ok. So, according to that description, I am an expatriate. Sounds cool, eh? I then started to think what might be interesting to write. There were plenty ideas, but I decided to write about working in the United States of America.
I met my husband through internet. He proposed me and then we worked on paperwork to get me visa to USA. I moved to USA in January 25th, 2005 (read about it in “Good bye Surabaya, Welcome USA). We got married and did another paperwork to get me a Permanent Resident card. Meanwhile, I helped my husband founding our non-profit organization named Somos Iguales (http://www.somos-iguales.com/). I design and update the website, took pictures of the products, check on stocks and order forms, handle and ship orders, etc. while my husband, since he is an attorney, does all the legal works and writings.
Two years since my coming to USA, I decided to take a day job. The main reason was to build my own credit score. In USA a person is measured by his/her credit score. The concept is the higher the score the easier for that person to get good mortgage, credit cards, auto loans, business loans, etc.
My first job was sales assistant at Toys “R” Us. I found the website, I read the company profile, and I applied online. The application is easy and job oriented. I attached my resume with my working experience, my Social Security number, my permanent resident card number, and hit “Submit”. Not like in Indonesia, where appearance and the look are most important, here in USA no photograph required in your resume. I remember back in Surabaya, I spent hours sorting through lots of applications for a teacher position for our learning center. My boss would sit on his chair, looked at those sorted applications one by one. Within less than one hour, he’d put those application in rejected folder. I asked why, he said none of them look good.
A week later I got a call for an interview. I was surprised by how fast they responded to my application. On the day of my interview, I came in 20 minutes early. This is part of great working ethics of the Americans that I learned long before I even step my foot in the State. Interview ran well, the supervisor was satisfied with my resume and she’d call to tell me the result. 3 days later, she called to set another interview with the store manager. The store manager was a nice and friendly gentleman. I felt calm and confident that I would get the job since I am very familiar with the job descriptions. And I did get the job! Whoo hooo..!
The job was fun, I made some good friends at work, and the most important thing was my credit score went up fast. I hit 550 during my second month with Toys “R” Us. I started to get credit card offers and I took several with good credit limits.
After 3 months, I looked for another job. My excuse was cliché, to broaden my experience. I sent out applications online. I got several interviews before I finally stumbled into one article in Austin Chronicle.
It listed 10 best companies to work for in Texas area and Costco wholesale was number one. I was really interested since my husband and I were executive members there for almost a year. And we love their products and the service is excellent! I talked to my husband about applying for the job and he supported me (he always does). So, I went to the website and applied online.
Few days later I got a call to do the interview. It went well, and they scheduled me for drug tests. In USA some big corporations require drug tests and even police report if necessary. I passed the drug test. Next step was interview with store manager. I was a bit nervous but the manager made some jokes and it helped create a pleasant conversation. I was accepted. I work in food department. It’s just fit my passion in food serving. In addition to it are great benefits, especially health benefits. This company cares so much for its employees and their families. But most of all, I love the diversity and the great opportunities for all employees. Everyone has the same chance to get any position posted, as long as we follow the rules and work hard. I proved it myself by getting to my position now within less than one year. The great moment was when I was told by my manager that I was nominated for the best employee award of month January 2008. I lost by only 2 votes. But, I was nominated again for month March 2008 and this time I won. It was great to see my name carved on the bronze plate and hung on the wall in the break room. But the best of all is I feel great that my job got appreciated.
Again, here in USA, everyone can have a dream, and able to make that dream a reality. The keys are work hard, follow the rules, and respect others. So, start your dream now.

Celtic Thunder

2008-08-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm ini love with this celtic male band, especially with this young boy. His voice is amazingly touching. Yet, he is only 14 years old!!
I'm looking for their CD at Amazon. He is awesome!

Summer Kids

2008-08-25T17:46:00.001-07:00

Opini Refleksi Pribadi Memperingati 4 Tahun Perkawinan (Bagian Terakhir)

2008-06-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

Oleh : Maria Coleman

29-Jun-2008, 09:54:56 WIB -

[http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=20&dn=20080629054542]

Saling Menghormati

Bagaimana dengan aktualisasi saling menghormati ini? Sejak awal perkenalanku dengan suami, aku banyak bertanya pada suamiku tentang masyarakat Amerika yang sangat majemuk tetapi jarang muncul kasus akibat gesekan antar etnis, antar ras, atau antar agama. Dia menjelaskan bangsa Amerika dibangun atas dasar pluralitas. Imigran dari Inggris, Jerman, Perancis, Irlandia, Skotlandia, dan Belanda datang mencari penghidupan di Amerika. Kemudian mereka mendatangkan orang-orang dari Afrika untuk dipekerjakan di perkebunan-perkebunan milik orang-orang kulit putih. Lalu lahir era "segregasi", yaitu pemisahan antara orang kulit putih dan kulit hitam dalam hidup keseharian. Salah satu contohnya, orang kulit hitam tidak boleh makan di restoran orang kulit putih, demikian pula sebaliknya. Berikutnya adalah era integrasi, dimana ras kulit hitam berjuang untuk mendapatkan persamaan hak dengan rakyat Amerika lainnya. Seiring dengan perkembangan ekonomi Amerika yang pesat, semakin banyak pula imigran-imigran dari India, Cina, Spanyol, Meksiko, Rusia dan negara-negara lain ke Amerika.

Demikianlah, sejarah panjang Amerika menjadi sebuah "melting pot" yang melahirkan satu bangsa Amerika yang demokratif dan hormat atas setiap pribadi. Sebagaimana semboyan negara "E Pluribus Unum" yang artinya "From many, uniting into one" ("Dari banyak menjadi satu"). Perkawinan adalah contoh kecil dari semboyan ini. Membina sebuah perkawinan akan menjadi sangat sulit bila pribadi-pribadi yang terlibat di dalamnya tidak bisa saling menghormati.

Seperti yang kuungkap di tulisan bagian pertama, keluargaku terkesan akan sikap dan tingkah laku suamiku yang santun dan sabar. Kami melakukan ritual lamaran dan pernikahan menurut adat Jawa modern. Suamiku sungguh terkesan dengan makna simbol-simbol Jawa. Seperti ubo rampe pada saat lamaran dan pernikahan. Mereka tidak tahu, jauh sebelum pertemuan kami suamiku banyak bertanya dan belajar tata krama yang berlaku di lingkungan keluargaku. Tata cara bertamu, saat makan dan minum, komunikasi dan bahasa tubuh. Mana yang boleh dan tidak boleh dilakukan.

Demikian pula saat aku tiba di Amerika, aku belajar tata cara yang berlaku di negara ini. Menyetir mobil di Amerika salah satu contohnya. Setelah 2 kali gagal tes praktek (pertama, aku mengemudi di atas kecepatan maksimum, yang kedua, tidak berhenti total pada tanda STOP), suamiku menjadi tutor pribadiku. Mengajakku berkeliling rute tes praktek, mengenal setiap tanda lalu lintas dan menaati tata tertib berlalu lintas. Satu hal yang sangat menarik adalah orang-orang Amerika sangat tertib berlalu lintas. Meski tidak ada polisi yang sembunyi di pepohonan dan menunggu pengendara yang melanggar lalin, mereka sangat hormat kepada sesama pemakai jalan, terutama pejalan kaki dan pengendara sepeda atau sepeda motor. Di perempatan jalan yang bertanda STOP, semua pengendara dari semua arah akan berhenti, dan memberi kesempatan kepada pengendara yang mencapai tanda stop lebih dulu. Sering malah mereka melambaikan tangan memberiku kesempatan lewat terlebih dahulu. Mungkin karena aku wanita. Satu lagi, jangan coba-coba budaya "salam tempel" kita di Amerika. Anda bisa masuk penjara dengan tuduhan penyuapan.

Contoh lain, suamiku adalah vegetarian, sedangkan aku bukan. Tapi itu tidak menjadi kendala, karena kami saling menghormati cara hidup kami masing-masing. Tiap berkunjung ke salah satu keluarga atau menghadiri suatu jamuan, aku membantunya memilih menu yang tidak mengandung daging. Aku selalu menjelaskan dulu kepada tuan rumah, supaya mereka tidak tersinggung. Meski pada akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk menjadi vegetarian juga, tapi itu atas kehendakku sendiri dengan didasarkan sejarah kesehatan orang tuaku. Kami menerima dan menghormati perbedaan kami dan tidak mempermasalahkannya, karena setiap pribadi adalah unik. Justru kita harus melihatnya sebagai suatu keindahan tersendiri. Bayangkan, sebuah kebun dengan bunga warna-warni, dan bandingkan dengan kebun kosong yang hanya berisi rumput saja. Membosankan, bukan?

Saling Percaya

Empat tahun menjalani hidup bersama, kami masih menemukan hal-hal baru dan unik pada diri pasangan kami. Suatu hari, aku perlu mengecek rekening bank pribadinya online. Aku bertanya apa kata sandinya. Suamiku menyebutkan nama mantan kekasihnya. Aku langsung naik darah dan mulai menyangsikan kesetiaannya. Baru setelah dia ganti kata sandinya dengan panggilan sayangku dan rayuan berjam-jam, aku mulai bisa menerima "alasan logisnya", yaitu bahwa rekening itu dia buka sejak dia masih bersama kekasih lamanya, jauh sebelum dia mengenal aku, sehingga lebih mudah untuk mengingatnya.

Cemburu, itulah alasan kemarahanku. Kata orang, cemburu adalah "bumbu penyedap" dalam perkawinan. Tapi, bila kita mau jujur, cemburu sebenarnya adalah salah satu bentuk ketidakpercayaan kepada seseorang. Dan ketidakpercayaan ini timbul karena kita belum sepenuhnya mengenal diri orang tersebut. Bagaimana kami memupuk saling percaya di antara kami? Sharing, berbagi, give and take (memberi dan menerima). Tentang apa saja, masa lalu kami, kesukaan kami, pekerjaan, bahkan kejelekan dan kekonyolan kami, yang tidak pernah diketahui sahabat ataupun keluarga terdekat kami. Dengan tidak menghakimi dan menunjuk pada keburukan pasangan, kami bisa bebas mencurahkan segala uneg-uneg dan isi hati kami.

Kami tahu setiap sandi yang dipakai dalam tagihan-tagihan dan rekening-rekening bank, bahkan kami berdua punya akses ke email, website dan blog pribadi. Aku mengenal teman-teman dan keluarganya dengan baik, demikian pula dia mengenal teman dan keluargaku. Rahasianya sudah menjadi rahasiaku, demikian pula sebaliknya. Suatu hari, saat aku hendak mencuci pakaian dan suamiku menawarkan bantuan, aku berkata,"It's OK. I can do it." Suamiku menjawab,"There is no "I" or "You" in our relationship. We are partners." ("Tidak ada kata "aku" atau "kamu" dalam hubungan kita. Kita adalah partner").

Sharing menjadikan kami sadar akan hal-hal yang tidak disukai oleh pasangan kami dan dengan demikian kami berusaha menyesuaikan. Di pihak lain, diperlukan hati yang besar untuk menerima segala kelebihan dan kekurangan pasangan dan mendorong perkembangan hal-hal yang positif. Karena bagaimanapun, tidak ada seorang pun yang sempurna di dunia ini dan kita tidak bisa mendapatkan semua yang kita inginkan dari pasangan kita. Hentikan segala bentuk pemikiran seperti "Ah, coba dulu aku..." atau "Andai saja dia seperti..." Itu hanya akan menggiring kita ke jurang ketidakpercayaan. Aku telah memutuskan untuk menerima dia menjadi suamiku, berdasarkan pengenalan batin dan fisik. Dan sebagai pribadi yang dewasa aku menerima konsekuensi dari keputusanku ini dan turut bertanggung jawab atas kelangsungan relasi kami.

Suamiku, terima kasih, engkau telah menjadi sosok kekasih, kakak, pengayom, sahabat, dan partnerku sepanjang empat tahun ini. We are looking forward for more happy years to come to share.

Selamat Hari Jadi Perkawinan, Suamiku Sayang!

Refleksi Pribadi Memperingati 4 Tahun Perkawinan

2008-06-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

(Bagian Pertama)

Oleh : Maria Coleman
27-Jun-2008, 12:29:15 WIB -
[http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=20&dn=20080627051233]

KabarIndonesia - Hari ini, tepatnya 27 Juni, aku dan suami merayakan 4 tahun pernikahan kami. Suatu angka yang kecil bagi masyarakat Indonesia pada umumnya. Tapi bagi kami itu merupakan suatu pencapaian yang amat berarti. Aku dan suami berasal dari dua kutub budaya yang jauh berbeda. Suami adalah kaukasian Amerika, negara adidaya yang kental dengan budaya demokrasi dan keterbukaan. Sementara aku adalah gadis Jawa yang menganut budaya ketimuran yang penuh unggah-ungguh dan kesopanan.

Perkenalan kami terjadi melalui internet. Setelah menjalani hubungan jarak jauh yang intens dan beberapa kali kunjungan ke Indonesia, kami sampai pada keputusan untuk menikah. Tidaklah mudah bagiku saat itu untuk meyakinkan orangtua dan keluarga besarku tentang keputusan kami ini. Namun, sikap, perilaku, dan kesabaran suamiku mampu "meluluhkan" hati mereka dan membuatnya diterima di lingkungan keluarga kami. Perkawinan campur mungkin sudah bukan barang aneh lagi di masyarakat kita masa kini. Tapi tidaklah mudah untuk menggabungkan dua pribadi dengan latar belakang sosial dan budaya, bahasa, prinsip dan kepercayaan yang jauh berbeda. Banyak kita temui pasangan-pasangan dengan latarbelakang yang homogen menemui masalah, bahkan "gagal" di tahun awal perkawinan mereka. Sungguh ini menjadi suatu tantangan bagi kami, mampukah kami mengatasi kesulitan-kesulitan yang muncul sebagai dampak dari perbedaan-perbedaan diantara kami?

Dukungan dari Pasangan
Tahun pertama perkawinan kami dipenuhi dengan kesibukan mengurus surat-surat ijin visaku dan status Permanent Residence (Penduduk Tetap) di Amerika. Bisa dibilang tahun ini adalah ujian beratku yang pertama: meninggalkan tanah air Indonesia menuju negara asing Amerika yang seumur hidup hanya kukenal melalui film-film, majalah dan surat kabar. Jauh dari keluarga, teman-teman, dan komunitas gereja dan sosial dimana aku selalu aktif didalamnya. Tidak ada lagi acara mudik Lebaran dan saling kunjung keluarga saat hari-hari besar keagamaan. Dan yang lebih sedih lagi, harus adaptasi dengan makanan asing dengan kemungkinan terburuk tidak bisa menemukan pete dan terasi di Amerika.

Bagaimana aku mampu melalui itu semua? Sejujurnya aku tak akan mampu bila tanpa dukungan suamiku. Dialah sumber penghiburan dan kekuatanku. Dia sangat akomodatif dengan kebutuhanku, memahami kesulitan dan membantuku sejauh yang dia mampu lakukan. Suamiku mengajakku berbelanja setiap akhir pekan di toko-toko Cina, Vietnam dan India yang menjual berbagai kebutuhan makanan Asia, hingga suatu hari kami menemukan sebuah supermarket besar dimana aku menemukan segala jenis bumbu dan makanan Indonesia. Termasuk durian, pete dan terasi!

Acara mudik Lebaran kini berganti dengan kunjungan ke keluarga suami yang tersebar di berbagai negara bagian di Amerika. Atas dukungan suamiku pula, aku bisa mengenal dan kini ikut dalam berbagai kegiatan komunitas-komunitas Indonesia di Austin, Texas. Dalam hal komunikasi, kadang aku salah mengucapkan kata-kata atau kalimat dalam bahasa Inggris, orang lain mungkin akan tertawa, tapi tidak suamiku. Dia akan mengoreksinya dengan cara yang tidak mematahkan semangat. Sering dia memancing dengan diskusi, mulai dari soal harga bahan bakar naik sampai masalah politik untuk mengasah kemampuan berbahasaku. Pada kesempatan lain, saat suamiku down karena polemik keluarganya, aku pun berusaha menempatkan diri sebagai supportive partner. Bagaimana caranya? Dengan tidak menambah bebannya dengan masalah sepele seputar rumah tangga, memberi semangat dan kata-kata penghiburan, dan siap menjadi pendengar yang baik dalam arti mendengarkan dengan perhatian tanpa menyela ataupun menghakimi.

Saling Menghargai
Suamiku selalu katakan,"It's an endless conversation to talk about the differences between us, and it only creates useless argumentations. We must look ahead. Think of what we have in common, of what we share, and we appreciate and respect each other. That's our strenght to overcome any obstacle." ("Membicarakan perbedaan di antara kita adalah diskusi yang tak akan ada habisnya. Dan hanya menciptakan argumentasi tak berguna. Kita harus melihat ke depan. Pikirkan persamaan di antara kita, yang kita bagi, dan kita saling menghargai dan menghormati. Itu kekuatan kita untuk mengatasi setiap hambatan.")

Saling menghargai, mungkin mudah dikatakan tapi tak semudah melakukannya. Pernahkan partner Anda mengapresiasi "kerja keras" Anda untuk menjaga rumah tetap indah dan rapi? Berapa kali Anda menerima ungkapan terimakasih atau pujian dari partner Anda atas sarapan atau masakan sedap yang Anda siapkan dengan susah payah? Adakah senyum di wajah partner Anda saat menemukan pakaian kerjanya sudah siap disaat dia diburu waktu? Dan saat suami lelah sepulang kerja, adakah dia menjumpai wajah berseri istrinya yang menawarkan secangkir kopi dan pijatan lembutnya? Atau, kita menerima semuanya sebagai sesuatu yang "sudah seharusnya"? Menghargai jerih payah pasangan kita tidak perlu selalu dengan ucapan terimakasih. Sikap yang suportif, kata-kata yang lemah lembut, bahkan seuntai senyum pun mampu memberi damai di hati.

Aku banyak belajar dari suamiku dalam hal ini. Kadang kami terlibat dalam argumen, dan emosiku memanas dan mulai berteriak. Suamiku tidak membalas, tapi menungguku selesai menumpahkan semua emosi barulah dia mulai mengeluarkan argumennya, yang -biasanya- selalu masuk akal. Pernah suatu pagi, aku dikejutkan dengan sarapan yang sudah tersedia di meja makan: roti sandwich dan segelas jus apel. Di samping piringku tergeletak seikat bunga liar dengan post-it note diatasnya tertulis, "Terima kasih untuk sex yang indah tadi malam. Aku cinta kamu." Aku tersenyum haru. Memang bukan sarapan yang "wah", tapi upayanya untuk bangun pagi dan menyiapkannya, plus menuliskan pesannya dalam bahasa Indonesia, sungguh mengungkapkan besarnya kasihnya.

Disaat lain, saat aku lelah setelah berkebun seharian, dia datang dengan segelas air es dan menawarkan diri untuk memasak. Banyak contoh kecil lainnya yang penulis tak mampu sebutkan disini. Intinya, kita semua dapat -dan mampu- menunjukkan apresiasi kepada pasangan kita, melalui tindakan yang meski tampaknya kecil dan remeh, tapi sebenarnya sungguh bermakna dalam. (Bersambung)

Ingin baca artikelnya langsung dari sumber aslinya? Silakan klik link berikut

http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=20&dn=20080627051233

Arisan Ala Ibu-ibu di Texas

2008-06-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

Serba Serbi

Arisan Ala Ibu-ibu di Texas
Oleh : Maria Coleman
13-Mei-2008, 01:31:00 WIB - [www.kabarindonesia.com] KabarIndonesia - Sabtu pagi yang indah, matahari bersinar cerah, tiada mendung sedikit pun di langit. Pagi itu, Brushy Creek Lake Park, sebuah taman umum di kota Cedar Park, Texas, masih tampak sepi pengunjung. Di sejumlah area berdiri gazebo yang disediakan bagi keluarga yang ingin mengadakan pesta ulang tahun atau pertemuan non-kasual bersama teman dan keluarga.

Aku dan suamiku berjalan seputar taman mencari tanda berupa balon warna warni, seperti yang tertulis di undangan via email yang kuterima. Lalu kulihat lambaian tangan beberapa orang wanita berwajah Asia. Nah, tak salah lagi, pasti ini tempatnya. Kami berjalan mendekat, dan seorang dari mereka menyongsong kami dengan wajah gembira. "Halo, selamat datang! Apa kabar? Kenalkan, ini Esa. Anda siapa?" Lalu mulailah perkenalan kami dengan komunitas ini.

Arisan dan Pot Luck

Komunitas Indonesia ini populer dengan sebutan Arisan and Pot Luck. Apa itu "Pot Luck"? Esa Adamson-Rhinevault, yang akrab dipanggil Esa, sang koordinator komunitas menerangkan, "Awalnya karena saya senang sekali mengumpulkan teman-teman untuk saling bertukar informasi sambil makan-makan." Setiap anggota boleh (dan diharapkan) membawa masakan dan minuman ala Indonesia. Makanan dan minuman ini nantinya akan dinikmati bersama anggota yang lain. Cara ini populer disebut "pot luck" di negeri Paman Sam. Butet, yang saat itu datang membawa tape uli buatannya, tak bisa menahan diri untuk mencicipi telur balado buatan Tina Chute, yang saat itu datang bersama puteranya, Nathan. "Serasa berada di kampung halaman", katanya.

Agenda utama komunitas ini sebenarnya adalah arisan dengan tarikan sebesar $50.00 per orang. Tapi, jelas Esa, tidak semua anggota diwajibkan ikut serta dalam arisan yang total anggotanya sekarang mencapai 12 orang. "Semua orang Indonesia yang tinggal di sekitar Austin, Texas, boleh datang dan ikut arisan ini dengan jaminan jujur dan tanggung jawab untuk bayar setiap bulannya sampai yang menang terakhir," demikian Esa menjelaskan.

Pertemuan diadakan setiap bulan dengan lokasi berbeda, tergantung siapa yang menang arisan. Anggota komunitas ini adalah wanita-wanita Indonesia yang bekerja di Amerika atau menikah dengan warga negara Amerika. Dari segi jangkauan wilayah, anggota komunitas ini tersebar di berbagai kota di Texas. Merry McCromack yang pagi itu datang dengan anak dan suaminya dari San Antonio, Texas, begitu hanyut dalam obrolan, "Sampai saya lupa kalau bawa anak..ha..ha..," guraunya.

Bagi yang tidak ingin ambil bagian dalam arisan, mereka bisa menambah wawasan dengan saling tukar informasi tentang berbagai hal, mulai dari resep masakan sampai info lowongan kerja. "Saling mengenal satu sama lain dan mempererat tali silaturahmi antar saudara setanah air, itulah sebenarnya tujuan utama komunitas ini," demikian Esa menambahkan.

Pemenang arisan tidak harus menjadi tuan rumah untuk acara arisan bulan berikutnya. Dia bisa minta Esa sebagai koordinator untuk menentukan tanggal dan tempatnya. Demi alasan praktis, acara bisa diadakan di taman-taman kota, yang umumnya dilengkapi dengan fasilitas meja dan kursi taman, barbeque pit (memanggang daging sambil rekreasi di taman sangat digemari di Amerika), fasilitas olah raga dan kolam renang atau danau.

Matahari bergerak naik, piring-piring saji di meja tampak bersih, tak ada makanan tersisa. Tibalah saat untuk kembali ke rumah, kembali ke rutinitas biasa. Wajah-wajah gembira saling berpelukan dengan salam hangat, "Sampai berjumpa di arisan bulan depan..."

Berita dan foto selengkapnya silakan klik link dibawah ini

http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=5&dn=20080513002137

Maya Coleman's first Performance

2008-01-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

This video shows Maya Coleman first performance at Cedar Park Art Institute, on December 14th, 2007. As you can see in the clip bellow she was wearing dark blue dress, standing at the right most.

Maya is the first daughter of Britt (Loel's son) and Mary Coleman. Maya joined the class few months ago. She turned 5 last November. She is very talented in art and music. She loves to draw and paint. The first things she'd ask when she comes over to our house are paper and crayon. She likes to dance and violin is one of her favorite music instruments.

I took this video with my digi-camera, so the picture quality is not as good as if it was taken with video cam. It was a bit late to catch up the opening since I was too busy taking pictures of her. But I made it, just in time! Now that I have time to upload it on YouTube, I'm proud to share with you all.
So, here I present you....Maya Coleman!

Berita "Austin Cinta Indonesia" Terpilih Sebagai "Weekly Top Views"!!

2007-12-09T20:05:00.000-08:00

Baru pulang kerja, aku istirahat sementara suami bikin quesadillas (tortilla yang diisi chili, acar, dan keju..yummmmy..). Lalu kutemukan email dari Koran online Kabar Indonesia yang sebagian isinya aku copy dibawah ini. I'm so happy and I want to share it with ya'll my best friends. Thanks yah, teman-temanku yang baik budi ini telah rela meluangkan waktu buat baca artikel yang kutulis. Aku akan coba untuk lebih rajin lagi nulis. Kritik dan masukan-masukan kalian aku tunggu loh..!
Again, thanks and keep check our blog out.

Yth. Sdr. Maria Coleman

Dengan ini kami atas nama seluruh staf redaksi KabarIndonesia ingin mengucapkan selamat kepada Sdr. Maria, karena artikel anda berjudul “Austin Cinta Indonesia” telah terpilih sebagai artikel yang banyak dikunjungi oleh para pembaca KabarIndonesia.

Berdasarkan hasil statistik data para pengunjung ternyata artikel yang anda tulis banyak dibaca oleh para pengunjung, sehingga layak untuk dinobatkan sebagai “Weekly Top Views”. Ternyata artikel anda ini telah menjadi satu artikel yang luar biasa. Disenangi oleh banyak para pembaca KabarIndonesia.

Pengumuman “Weekly Top Views” ini telah kami tayangkan di halaman utama http://www.kabarindonesia.com/. Redaksi KabarIndonesia juga telah membuatkan Blog khusus sebagai arsip untuk seluruh berita-berita yang telah menjadi Weekly Top View sepanjang tahun. Silahkan kunjungi: http://koran-kabarindonesia.blogspot.com/

Keberhasilan Sdr. Maria adalah keberhasilan kami juga sesuai dengan motto KabarIndonesia: Dari Kita untuk Kita – karena KabarIndonesia ini telah menjadi milik kita bersama.

Life Without Limbs

2007-12-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

Sebelum memulai tulisan ini, aku ingin berterimakasih kepada Esther yang telah berkali-kali menyebut Nick dalam email-emailnya di mailing list Arisan kita. Esther ini bisa dibilang salah satu fans berat Nick. Terbukti dari rajinnya dia mengikuti seminar-seminar Nick setiap kali dia hadir di Surabaya.
Mulanya nama Nick ini begitu asing di telingaku. Lalu aku mulai surf the web dan menemukan fakta bahwa begitu kita ketik Nick Vujicic akan muncul bejibun website tentang dirinya. Makin tertarik aku setelah melihat salah satu videonya di YouTube.
Berikut ini juga aku sertakan 2 video klip buat kalian yang belum mengenal Nick Vujicic. Video pertama menampilkan keseharian Nick di rumahnya di Brisbane, Australia. Video kedua diambil dari salah satu seminar Nick.
Bila kalian ingin tahu lebih jauh tentang kiprah Nick, silakan klik link resminya ini http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/policy-privacy.php

Satu hal yang patut dicatat dari setiap seminar dimana Nick menjadi pembicara utama, adalah dia tidak pernah merasa canggung. Nick memiliki talenta untuk menguasai audiensnya. Dia bahkan sering membuat gelak tawa hadirin dan membuat lelucon dari keadaan dirinya yang 'tak lengkap' itu. Bahkan - ini seperti yang digambarkan Esther - banyak gadis yang seakan 'terbius' dan langsung menyerbu Nick selepas acara untuk sekedar memeluk, mencium, dan meminta autografnya. Nick sungguh seorang selebriti! Bedanya, selebriti yang satu ini selalu tampil tanpa apa adanya, tanpa polesan make up, dan dengan segala kekurangan fisiknya, jujur bertutur.
"Orang selalu berkata keadaan yang saya alami ini sebagai 'bad luck', suatu kecelakaan," kata Nick,"Tapi saya katakan disini, Tuhan tidak pernah membuat sesuatu tanpa rencana. No matter who you are, no matter what you're going thru, Gos is with you, He'll pull you through." Nick kemudian menambahkan,"There is not one suffering you go through and not see glory revealed. There will be some good, if you hang on."

Semoga kisah ini bisa menjadi inspirasi kita untuk tidak mudah patah semangat bila menghadapi persoalan hidup. Karena Tuhan telah merencanakan semuanya bagi kita. Tinggal kita diminta untuk berjuang, menjadi pribadi yang tabah dan ulet. Seperti Nick Vujinick dan Ben Underwood.
God bless you all!

Christmas Shoes...

2007-12-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

When I was driving and listening to my favorite radio "Majic 95.5" that plays Christmas songs 24/7 non-stop since the day after thanksgiving, I heard this beautiful-but-sad song. Sung by Carlysle Bob, it brought me tears like river, and I had to drive real slow 'cause my eyesight became 10-10 hiks...
Once I heard the second part, it struck me like a hammer hit my chest. I remembered my deceased mom and even when I'm writing this my eyes are blurred with tears. I feel like I did not do much for her when she was still around us. I remember the troubles I made when I was a kid and mom was always the one who fixed them. I remember how she always look 'alright' even though I know -somehow- deep inside she was hurt and in so much pain.
Let us remember our mother and always bring them to our prayers. Happy Holiday!
(I uploaded "Christmas Shoes" in the song list on the side bar so you can also listen to it. Just click on the song title and it'll play for you. Enjoy!)

It was almost Christmas time
There I stood in another line
Trying to buy that last gift or two
I'm really in the Christmas mood
Standing right in front of me
Was a little boy waiting anxiously
Pacing around like little boys do
And in his hands he held
A pair of shoes

And his clothes were worn and old
He was dirty from head to toe
And when it came his time to pay
I couldn't believe what I heard him say

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus, tonight.

They counted pennies for what seem like years
And cashier says son there's not enough here
He searches is pockets franticly
And he turned and he looked at me
And he said Momma made Christmas good at our house
Most years she just did without
Tell me Sir
What am I gonna do?
Some how I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes

So I layed the money down
I just had to help him out
And I'll never forget
The look on his face
When he said Momma's gonna look so great.

Sir I wanna buy these shoes, for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see, she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful,
If Momma meets Jesus tonight.

I knew I caught a glimpse of heavens love as he thanked me and ran out.
I know that God had sent that little boy to remind me
What Christmas is all about

Sir I wanna buy these shoes for my Momma please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry Sir?
Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes will make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

I want her to look beautiful
If Momma meets Jesus tonight

Bocah Yang Melihat Dengan Suara

2007-12-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

Bagi orang-orang yang belum mengenal baik Ben Underwood, mereka tidak akan bisa melihat ‘keistimewaan’ bocah 14 tahun dari Sacramento, California ini. Seperti layaknya remaja lainnya, dia lihai meluncur diatas skateboardnya, bersepeda, atau bermain sepak bola dan basket dengan teman-temannya. Satu yang membedakan adalah suara ‘klik-klik’ yang keluar dari mulutnya.
Ben baru berusia 2 tahun saat dokter menemukan kanker di kedua retina matanya. Setelah kemoterapi gagal, dokter terpaksa harus membuang kedua bola matanya. Sejak itu Ben menggunakan mata buatan. Ben mulai belajar untuk mengenali dan melokalisasi obyek dengan cara membuat suara dengan lidahnya (mirip suara jentikan jari), lalu mendengarkan gema yang dipantulkan dari obyek-obyek sekitarnya. Gema ini memandu Ben untuk mengenali obyek yang ada didepannya: gema yang lembut mengindikasikan benda metal, padat (seperti kayu), atau tajam (gelas). Menilai dari keras dan lemahnya gema itu, Ben juga belajar mengenali jarak.
Teknik ini disebut ‘echolocation’, dan banyak spesies, seperti kelelawar dan lumba-lumba, yang menggunakan teknik ini untuk bernavigasi. Bedanya, karena manusia hanya mampu menghasilkan suara dalam tempo lebih lambat dan frekuensi yang lebih rendah daripada hewan, manusia hanya mampu mengenali obyek-obyek yang lebih besar. Namun, tetap saja kemampuan navigasi Ben ini dinilai luar biasa. “Kemampuan Ben ini sungguh langka dan melampaui persepsi manusia,” kata Daniel Kish, psikolog dan pengajar ‘echomobility’ yang juga mengalami buta total sejak usia 2 tahun.
Satu hal penting yang membuat Ben mampu berkembang tanpa batas adalah peran ibunya, Aquanetta Gordon, yang tidak membedakan perlakuan diantara anak-anaknya. “Saya selalu bilang padanya, ‘Namamu adalah Benjamin Underwood, dan kamu bisa melakukan apa saja,’”demikian kata ibu 4 orang anak ini. “Dia bisa belajar menerbangkan pesawat kalau dia mau,” lanjutnya lagi.
Ben bermain basket bersama teman-temannya, berkuda, atau berdansa dengan gadis-gadis di sekolah. Dia mahir bermain PlayStation dengan cara mengingat suara yang dihasilkan oleh masing-masing karakter dan gerakan-gerakannya. “Orang selalu bertanya apakah saya kesepian,” kata Ben,”Tidak. Karena selalu ada orang disekitar saya, atau saya ngobrol dengan teman di telepon. Menjadi buta tidak jauh berbeda dengan orang normal.”
Aquanetta mengirim Ben ke sekolah biasa dimana staf pengajar profesional memberikan perhatian khusus padanya. Ben mulai belajar huruf Braille dan menggunakan tongkat. Tapi sejak usia 3 tahun, dia sudah belajar ‘echolocation’, dengan cara mengenali suara dari obyek-obyek yang dijatuhkannya dan belajar menemukannya kembali dengan mengenali gema dari obyek-obyek tersebut. Indera pendengarannya sungguh luar biasa. Kalli Carvalho, guru seni bahasa Ben mengisahkan,”Suatu hari saya membawa Ben mencari mobil saya yang diparkir di seberang jalan. Saya bilang,’Mobil saya adalah yang ketiga dari deretan ini.’ Saat kami melewati kendaraan pertama Ben berkata,’Ini kendaraan pertama. Sebuah truk.’ Melewati kendaraan kedua Ben berkata lagi,’Dan yang kedua ini adalah sebuah pickup. Dia bisa menyatakan bedanya!”
Saat berusia 6 tahun, Ben memutuskan tidak mau lagi menggunakan tongkat. Ben memilih untuk menajamkan kemampuan ‘echolocation’ nya. Sebagian ahli yang bekerja pada kasus Ben ini mengatakan Ben terlalu memaksa dirinya dan terlalu ambil resiko. Sebagian lain justru melihat kemampuan Ben ini akan memudahkannya dalam menghadapi kesulitan-kesulitan baru dan menaklukkan lingkungan barunya. James Ruben, dokter mata Ben berkata, “Dunia ini tidak akan berubah untuk Ben, dialah yang harus beradaptasi.”
Menjadi ‘pemberontak’ bukan berarti Ben tak punya rasa takut. “Satu hal yang paling saya takuti adalah air,” kata Ben. Juni lalu keluarganya membawanya ke Sea World di San Diego untuk bermain bersama lumba-lumba dan mendengar bagaimana lumba-lumba menggunakan ‘echolocation’. Dengan setengah badan terendam air dan Ben memasang telinganya saat Sandy, salah satu lumba-lumba datang mendekat. “Wow!”, serunya.”Klik-kliknya cepat sekali!” Bob McMains, supervisor program lumba-lumba berkata,”Ben memiliki talenta yang unik bersama lumba-lumba. Bila kelak dia berusia 18 tahun dia bisa bekerja disini, kapan saja.”
Dunia Ben Underwood mungkin saja gelap, tapi dia tak akan berhenti menemukan kejutan-kejutan menakjubkan lainnya. Kelak Ben bisa menjadi guru matematika, atau pemain skate board profesional, atau bahkan pilot. “Saya selalu katakan saya tidak buta,” kata Ben,”Saya hanya tidak bisa melihat.” (Kisah ini telah dimuat di Harian Online Kabar Indonesia edisi tanggal 3 Desember 2007. Silakan klik link berikut http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=1&dn=20071202232223)

Austin Loves Indonesia!

2007-12-02T09:48:00.000-08:00

Sabtu 2 minggu lalu (17 November 2007), Cathedral St. Mary di Austin, Texas tampak begitu meriah. Sejumlah muda mudi tampak sibuk menata bangku dan meja. Sebagian lainnya sibuk menata panggung sederhana dengan sound system. Sebagian lagi sibuk membuat dekorasi dan kostum. Ada apa gerangan?
Vidia Paramita, salah satu panitia menjelaskan bahwa ini adalah bazaar yang diadakan oleh ICC (Indonesian Catholic Community) Austin. Bagi yang belum tahu, ICC adalah wadah atau perkumpulan keluarga Katolik Indonesia di Austin, Texas. Sebagian anggota ICC -yang September lalu merayakan 5 tahun eksistensinya- adalah para mahasiswa di berbagai universitas di Austin, Texas.
Ide penyelenggaraan bazaar ini datang dari Aldo Sunaryo, sang ketua ICC. Dan setelah mendengar masukan-masukan dari anggota, akhirnya diputuskan bahwa pendapatan dari bazaar ini akan disalurkan ke pendidikan pra-sekolah di daerah Gunung Kidul, Jogjakarta. Imaculata, yang bertanggungjawab atas penyaluran dana, mengutarakan kesulitan yang dihadapi para guru di daerah terpencil sekitar Gunung Kidul. Lokasi yang sulit dijangkau dan kondisi sosial ekonomi penduduk sekitar yang umumnya adalah petani miskin menyebabkan para guru ini tidak mampu meningkatkan kualitas edukasinya.
Penghasilan guru-guru ini biasanya sekitar 200 ribu rupiah, tetapi terkadang tidak mendapatkan sampai 50% nya karena siswa siswa sekolahnya yang tidak mampu untuk membayar uang sekolah, ditambah dengan fakta bahwa pemerintah tidak memberikan bantuan subsidi untuk pendidikan pra-SD karena tidak dianggap “essensial”. Suatu anggapan yang salah, karena sudah terbukti dalam berbagai penelitian bahwa usia manusia yang paling berpotensi adalah dari 0 hinggga sekitar 5 tahun, dibawah usia SD.

Yang membuat kita bangga sekaligus terharu, meskipun minim fasilitas, guru-guru ini tetap memiliki dedikasi tinggi untuk mendidik para siswa. Mereka berkeyakinan dengan pendidikan dasar yang cukup, meski tidak bisa dibilang memadai, akan bisa mengentaskan generasi muda ini dari kemiskinan.
Ide ini kemudian digodog di komite ICC dan hasilnya, mereka sepakat untuk mengadakan bazaar sebagai cara penggalian dana.

Vidia mengatakan target yang ingin dicapai adalah $1,000 (sekitar Rp. 10.000.000). Dana ini akan digunakan untuk pemberdayaan para guru. “Bila dana yang tergalang lebih dari $1000, maka lebihnya akan kami donasikan sebagai beasiswa bagi siswa siswa yang ada disana. Seberapa besar per anak dan keputusan lainnya akan kami ambil dan komunikasikan setelah mengetahui berapa jumlah uang yang terkumpul.”, demikian Vidia mengatakan.

Dan ternyata bazaar berlangsung sukses dan menghebohkan. Dana yang terkumpul jauh melampaui harapan para panitia ICC. Hal ini tidak lepas dari partisipasi aktif organisasi-organisasi Indonesia lain, seperti Permias, Austin Cell, Keong Mas, IFGF, ICF, dan masih banyak lagi. Salah satu bentuk partisipasi mereka adalah dengan membuka stand di bazaar ini. Pengunjung yang datang pun benar-benar menikmati suguhan kesenian tari daerah, musik dan seni bela diri. Mereka seakan bernostalgia menikmati lezatnya berbagai makanan dan minuman tradisional khas Indonesia. “Kami sekeluarga datang kesini dan kerinduan kami akan kampung halaman terobati.”, demikian kata Widodo, salah satu pengunjung yang datang bersama istri dan anaknya.
Bazaar ditutup dengan tarian Poco-Poco yang diikuti oleh seluruh panitia dan sebagian pengunjung. Sebuah hasil karya para muda yang patut diacungi jempol. Seuntai kasih dari Austin untuk saudara-saudara kita yang kurang mampu di tanah air Indonesia. Salut untuk ICC Austin!
(Berita ini telah ditayangkan sebagai berita utama/headline di Harian Online Kabar Indonesia, tanggal 1 Desember 2007 dengan judul "Austin Cinta Indonesia". Silakan klik link berikut http://www.kabarindonesia.com/berita.php?pil=1&dn=20071129215452)

New Addition to Coleman Family!

2007-11-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

Her name is Jasmine, just like Princess Jasmine from Alladin story. She was born on September 6th, 2007 along with the other 5 brothers and sisters. We adopted her from a family in Marble Falls, about 1.5 hour driving from our house. Our cute Jasmine has very good personalities, and pretty smart too!

On the first night in our house, one of our big dog, Blackdog, tried to attack her. It really shocked and scared her. Our other big dog, Whitedog, was fine with this new addition. Even though she still would not let Jasmine be too close to her. Especially, when Jasmine tries to 'examine' Whitedog's tail. Whitedog will give that weird-never-heard-before-voice. It sounds more like she sucks air in.

Jasmine is now getting along fine with our other dogs. She knows how to use the doggie door within only 1 hour! She learns to poo and pee on the papers in the kitchen. She will scratch our bedroom door if she wants to go poo. Well, sometimes she did have 'pee accidents'. But that is alright. She is just 10 weeks old. She now knows how to sit, off, and fetch. She understands the words, no, no bite, go, give, take. There were times when she got so excited after I came back from work and then she started to jump on me and bit me. She didn't mean it, though.

She loves to play fetch. But, sometimes when she got tired of playing she would not let her toy bone go. She grabbed it in her mouth 'till she fell asleep. You can see this in the pics below (she laid on her favorite pink towel). It was funny!
Everyone, enjoy the pics of Jasmine.

First Rosary in Our House

2007-11-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

I know it's late to post this story. But, like people says 'better late than never'. First, I really want to thank my best friend Lily Widodo (she's wearing white T-shirt next to me, in the picture bellow), who first introduced me to this "Indonesian Community" in Austin. I also want to thank Fransiskus Sani and Tena which through our chats they keep me updated about events and any info that is going on in this big Indonesian family.

After the first Indonesian Mass I attended last September, Lily and I keep in a good contact. She told me that ICC (Indonesian College Community, is more like Mudika in Indonesia, red.) would like to have rosary prayer every once in a week. First rosary would be at her house. Then Lily called me to see if I would like to have the second rosary in our house. Coincidentally, but I'd prefer to say it's God work, I have a day off of work that weekend. I told Loel and he was happy to hear that.

Few days before October 12, I called Lily to check on how many people we would expect to come. She said it'd probably about 12-20 no more than that. I planned to make huzzaren sallad, nasi goreng (fried rice), samosa (Indian snack), cendol (Indonesian traditional drinks), and lemper. Pretty good.

That Friday morning, Loel and I went shopping for all ingredients. He helped me chopped some veggies and cleaned up the house. I'm so proud of him! First guest to come was Ali. Then Lily and her family. She got lost a bit (thanks for my bad direction!), then called Loel for direction. Sorry Li!

Anyway, total people who came that night (including kids) were 25! Luckily, Inge and other person brought some meals also, even we didn't say it's a potluck meeting. So, everybody had enough to eat. Thank you Lord!
For everyone who could not be there, here are some fotos and love to share.

Help End World Hunger (While Increasing Your Vocab)

2007-11-15T19:31:00.000-08:00

Hi gals!
Check out this cool website I found the other day. www.freerice.com
You can brainstorm your vocabulary and help end the world hunger. Sounds absurd?
Here is how it works. For every correct answer, you donate 10 grains of rice to the United Nation World Food Program. The more you got correct answer the more rice you donate to help people in hunger.

You may think 10 grains is a piddling amount. But the totals have grown exponentially. On Oct. 7, the day the site launched, 830 grains of rice were donated. Barely a bowlful. As of November 09, '07, the total has grown to 1,072,025,720, approx. 26,800 metric tones.

The site is the brainchild of John Breen, a 50-year-old computer programmer from Bloomington, Ind., who has tackled hunger online before, first with the Hunger Site and, earlier this year, with the launch of Poverty.com, a poverty awareness site that he hopes people will visit to learn about helping to get more funding for international poverty relief.

"I wanted to have something fun to do that wasn't just a waste of time and had some vaguely redeeming value," Breen says with a laugh. He decided on the vocabulary quiz — and entered all 10,000 words and definitions himself — after watching his son preparing for the SAT.

"It's hard to get people to read about hunger and poverty," Breen says. "It's kind of depressing, so I had to think of an entertaining way to draw people in. Hopefully, they'll also click on to Poverty.com and find out what needs to be done."

So? Let's play, have some fun while helping our brothers and sisters in hunger.

Halloween 2007

2007-11-06T08:38:00.000-08:00

We started putting up the Halloween decorations 2 weeks ahead. The weather started to get chilled and dry. Mold and weed, and other allergen are in the air. And, as it always happens year to year, I started to get my allergy symptoms: cough and sneeze. Hate it!
Enjoy the pictures, everyone! And Happy Halloween, Happy Dia de los Muertos, and Happy All Saints Day!

Behold, Some Are Last Will Be The First

2007-11-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I found this reading online from madonna magazine. Published by Jesuit Orde in Australia (www.madonnamagazine.com.au). I'd like to share with ya'll cuz it gives us strength and hope, to know that when we are living in Him, everything will be fine, nothing will turn bad.

Romans 6:19-23

Paul says that a disciple of Jesus can have no master but God. A Christian is a person who has surrendered to God in Christ, a person who has given complete control of his/her life to Christ, holding nothing back.

Grace is God’s gift. God’s Grace is not an excuse for sin!

The old life was characterized by lawlessness, uncleanness, sin. The new life is characterized by righteousness, by right relationships. New life is a life that gives God God’s proper place and respects the rights of other human persons.

The new life leads to sanctification……it is the road to holiness. A person who has given himself/herself to Christ has begun the process of sanctification, is on the road to holiness, and is on his life-long journey to holiness.

Luke 12:49-53

The Jews waited for the Messiah, conqueror and King. To them, Jesus spoke of the terrible experience he was to go through - the cross was before his eyes. How different this is from the idea of conqueror King! Jesus came not with avenging armies, but giving His life! His coming meant division and it still could mean division because loyalty to Christ has to take precedence over the dearest loyalties of this world.

To choose Christ could mean denial of other things and other loyalties!

Walking Faithfully: "He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much” (Luke 16:10).

---------------------------------------------------
Good News Reflection

All things are working for your good

When you walk to your mailbox, into church, through a parking lot, down the street, or anywhere else that your feet take you, what do you usually look at? Are you watching your feet? And the ground go by? Or is your head up? Are you observing how beautiful the clouds look and appreciating the way the tree branches intermingle and raise their leaves toward heaven? Do you watch other people, in admiration of God's handiwork as you recall that he loves them all?

Directing your sight upward is great spiritual exercise. It helps us to understand and live in the truth of today's first reading. As Saint Paul points out, instead of focusing on our weaknesses, instead of noticing how our prayers are NOT being answered, instead of paying attention to our insufficiency and powerlessness when praying for big needs, we should remember the love and power of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit of God partners with us, leads us, and prays with us. In whatever we're lacking, whatever's missing or not yet accomplished, God's Spirit within us can fill up the gaps and provide peace.

Look at that! Look at the goodness of God! Keep your eyes on Jesus!

No matter how bad a trial has been, no matter how destructive it seems, if we give it to Jesus, he redeems it. Redemption means that something bad is converted into something good. Jesus always uses everything for the good of those who love him. We can benefit from even the worst of hardships. The benefit might be more inner strength, or fuller compassion, or special blessings and graces. There is no evil that God cannot or will not defeat by bringing good from it.

There is no victimization without victory if we turn it over to Jesus.

Of course, asking God to redeem a bad situation isn't enough. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus, looking upward to see the good that he raises from the bad. We have to embrace what the Father gives us instead of turning away and pouting, "But that's not what I want! Why won't You give me what I've been praying for? Why won't You do it my way?"

When we have difficulty seeing the good that God is doing in a bad situation, we can pray what the psalmist did in today's responsorial Psalm: "Give light to my eyes... let my heart rejoice in Your salvation; let me sing that the Lord has been good to me."

We experience joy in the midst of suffering when we stop watching the dirty ground beneath us and look up to observe the beauty and the blessings that God has placed around us. This is when we can genuinely proclaim: "All my hope, O Lord, is in Your loving kindness!"

Dunia Fantasi is way too OLD??

2007-10-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sepupuku di Jakarta mengirim kisah ini. Buat info kalian, yang ngalamin kisah ini adalah temen sekantor dia. So, buat yang suka nyerempet-nyerempet bahaya mesti baca kisah ini dulu.

Guys,
kemaren, hari kamis, tgl 11 okt 2007, gw and my big famz jalan2 ke dufan, kesempatan menikmati dufan sepi tanpa ngantri. Trus gw naek POWER SURGE 2x!!Lo semua yg udah pernah ke dufan tau donk power surge yg mana, even ada yg belum pernah naik (ato takut naek?!), at least lo tau bentuknya gimana, itu tuh yg kayak kincir angin, terus lo diputar ampe ke atas bgt (around 50 meter), letaknya setelah ISTANA BONEKA. Tau kan??!!

Nah, saat gw and 5 sepupu gw yg lain naik pertama kali, nothin happened, semuanya baik2 saja. Karena qta penantang adrenalin, qta sepakat untuk naik lagi. That was when d trouble begun. Dari pertama mau mulai permainan emang udah agak kacau, safetynya ada yg agak
kendor jd bolak-balik dicek,,ampe yg udah duduk pd protes sangking panasnya, jam 1 siang bow!!!

Finally, semuanya aman,operatornya jg udah yakin,dan mulailah saat2 menegangkan. Setelah diputar-putar 360 derajat, digoyang2,rambut yg kacau balau ngga keruan,darah udah pindah di kepala semua, permainannya melambat, which is berarti dah mau selesai. Tp anehnya, permainan itu melambat saat kita semua masih pada di atas. And u know what, IT STUCK!! PERMAINANNYA BERHENTI TOTAL SAAT SEMUA PENUMPANGNYA MASIH PADA DI KETINGGIAN 50 meter dr tanah!!!!

Posisinya bahaya semua, adek gw yg duduknya depan gw, posisinya menghadap ke bawah, kyk klo lg tidur telungkup. Mukanya udah pucat bgt, gw udah teriak "Pegangan yg erat ya!!" Yg plg gw takutin adl, pengamannya lepas, dan DEBUM!! Hujan orang dimana2.

Pemandangan dr atas jg ga enak bgt. Ada yg ngerekam kejadian itu, ada yg sibuk ngambil gambar,ada ortu yg teriak2 ada jg yg ampe nangis neriakin anaknya spy pegangan. Nyokap gw malah terlalu kreatif dengan main lempar2an botol minum buat gw and saudara2 gw.

Semua org yg ngeliat pd teriak,,ada yg marah,,krn beberapa dpt posisinya menghadap matahari jakarta jam1 siang yg ngga ada ampun panasnya,,ampe pd nangis2. Pokoknya HECTIC bgt!

Oom gw yg pilot,turun tangan untuk bantuin operatornya. Ternyata operator2 itu yg jmlnya 3 org, MEREKA BAHKAN NGGA TAU PROSEDUR apa yg harus dilakuin!PARAH!! MEREKA BAHKAN NGGA TAU GIMANA CARA JALAIN JETSETnya!! GILA!!

Kurang lebih 20 menit kita semua di atas sana, menyerempet2 kematian, mulai menyadari dosa2 selama ini,tobat. Gw ngga tahan ngeliat ade gw yg pucat pasi ampe berubah jd biru warna mukanya,anak2 yg nagis2 di atas krn kepanasan+ketakutan. Gw ketakutan setengah mampus, bolak-balik berdoa dlm hati.

Akhirnya, permainan itu turun juga dgn sempurna, semuanya baik2 aja. Even ada bpk2 yg mau nuntut pihak dufan for diz insiden. For me and my fams, cukup berterima kasih sama TUHAN krn semuanya baik2 saja.

Tp yg bikin gw BT bgt adalah pihak dufan-nya, or at least operatornya NGGA ADA yg blg maaf ato basa basi kek, padhal kan nyawa kita taruhannya di atas situ!! Sbg mahasiswa hukum, gw jd pengen ngajuin gugatan class action gugatan ganti rugi bila perlu!!

Ini bener2 gw alami sendiri, bukan rumor, bukan second hand story. Buat lo semua yg mau ke DUFAN, gw saranin hati2, lebih baik ngga usah. DUFAN is way too old.

-Esther Juniar P.-

Ngeri banget to? Inget dulu kita diajak bos produser kita oh A Kiat ke Dufan dan aku naik roller coaster (kalo gak salah inget namanya 'Halilintar' yah? kalo salah ya mohon diampunin, soale wis luamaa...). Terus kita pindah naik 'Kora-Kora' (yang ini aku inget banget!). Lha, si Ivan bilang gini,"Kalo kamu takut, duduk belakang aja. Disana gak begitu banter goyangannya." Udah, nurut aku duduk belakang. Eh, la kok ternyata buk ibuk...gilaaa bener! Ayunan awal gak apa-apa. Tambah lama tambah kenceng, aku rasane kaya diputer kepala dibawah. Aduh, pusing sampek mau muntah rasanya. Dibujuki abis aku, sementara Ivan cuman ketawa ketiwi. Buyaran, aku ngamuk ama Ivan dan mogok ngomong..he..he..

J-Lo and Kinno Wedding

2007-10-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

On the 9th and 11th of October 2007

J-LO O. SCARLLET OF FIFTY ONE KENNEL
&
KINNO VON STRAUS

May both of them be blessed with a lot of healthy-cute puppies.

Happy owners,
Jolanda & Ken and Julia & Pieter

***********************************************************

Congratulation for J-Lo and Kino! May they have a big-cute-happy family. Congratulation also for the happy and proud owners Jolanda and Ken and Ms. Julia and Mr. Pieter. We are happy for you!

Forgive Others as You Want Others Forgive You

2007-10-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

Few days ago Jolanda shared her sad story about her family situation where her dad in one side and her mother with her sister in the other side hates each other, so bad that until this time they still cannot forgive one another. As a result, Jo and her brother Markus have no choice but hurt between the tag war.
Jo remembers this beautiful song by Mike and the Mechanic which she cited in the letters she sent to me and Esther. Jo, I remember how that letter brought my tears since I just had 'uncomfortable' situation with my dad at that time and I thought he hate me. But, later I learned that he just wanted to protect me from harm that I couldn't see before. Just like the lyric in this song...I wish I could tell my dad I'm sorry...eye to eye...
So, to anyone who happen to see this blog, here I copy the lyric and you can also listen to the song.
Hope everyone would be touched by this song and be more forgiving. And someday, we will live in the world full with peace and harmony. Amen!
Peace Out!

***********************************

Living Years

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him
In the living years

Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts

So Don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up, and don't give in
You may just be O.K.

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

Old Pecan Street Fall Festival 2007

2007-10-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

Among tons of art and craft festivals we did this year, this Old Pecan Street Fall Festival has been famously known for its "best" visitors. Well, for craft vendors -like us- it doesn't matter how big crowd is, what matter most is this crowd would buy things from us.
The festival was held on September 29-30, 2007. Loel and I started loading our stuff the night before. As usual, Loel was a bit lazy and wanted to do it in the morning. But I insisted we do it that night because I don't want to see him grumpy all morning which would ruin our whole -might-be-a-fun-day. He agreed!
We left Saturday morning at 9am and started our booth pretty quick (hey, we've been doing it almost 2 years now!). Later that afternoon I got a chance to wander around downtown Austin a bit and took some pictures to show to you gals!
Ok. Here some cool things in Austin that you may not find it anywhere else:
1. Old buildings. Along 6th Street lay old buildings which are now -mostly- serving as kafes and bars. The City tries its best to preserve them. Most of these buildings were built in 1800s. They look unique and artistic in a day and become really "alive" at nite. Austin gives a big appreciation to music and musicians. They even have a non-profit organization to help musicians with their career, health benefits, etc.

2. Horse carriage. This special carriage ride includes a tour of the Texas Capitol, Governor's Mansion, the historic homes of the Bremond Block, a trip past Town Lake, and your choice of 6th Street or the Warehouse District. You can also have it for your special wedding ride! Only you cannot have those 'Just Married' cans in the back or it would scare the horse away ha..ha..

3. "Becak" or here it's called Pedicap. You may no longer be able to find it in Jakarta. But here in Austin, you can enjoy the ride around 6St. Street on a becak. These "becaks" are fully licensed by the City of Austin and they work for tips from customers. Ain't that cool??

4. Duck Ride. This is an amphibian vehicle which can take you for a tour to the lake of Austin. Yes. I mean to the lake, just like a boat (or ferry) and then come back to the city. They have a special pool/stop on 6th Street.

Here you can see the pictures of what I just told you. Enjoy!

A New Model of Scam??

2007-10-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

Sekitar 2 minggu yang lalu seorang sahabat dekatku mengalami dilema. Kita chatting dan dia 'curhat' tentang 2 orang cowok yang baru dikenalnya lewat internet, let's call him A and B. Temanku ini, panggil aja Wati (nama minta disamarkan, red.), minta pendapatku tentang si B yang "enthuastically" interested to her. Hampir saban malem minta chat. Sementara si A kok modelnya adem ayem aja. Aku bilang berdasarkan pengalamanku, cowok yang dari awal udah mulai ngobral omongan biasanya gak akan tahan lama dan umumnya gak jujur.
Beberapa hari kemudian kita chat lagi dan Wati bilang bahwa si B ini bahkan sudah mem-propose dia saat chatting. Deg! Ini bener-bener mengingatkanku pada Brian, my ex-bf. Jo dan Daisy tau banget 'kisah amor' ku dengan dia ini. Aku langsung peringatkan Wati, hati-hati aja ngadepin cowok model gini. "Bilang aja, kamu gak bisa bilang yes or no atas proposalnya kalo belum ketemu person to person." Wati tampaknya gak kepengaruh sama rayuan tuh cowok. Aku tau dia ini tipe cewek rasional. Pinter lagi!
Nah, 2 atau 3 hari sesudahnya Wati kirim email berikut ini.

Rabu lalu chatting terakhir qta, tuh cowok bilang sorenya berusaha telp aku via HP.....hihihi.....aku gak denger, soalnya lagi cuci rambut, dan HP yang ini kan gak pake remainder kalo-2 ada sms/phone terlewat...hehehe... Trus dia cerita, kalo anaknya (kalo bener anaknya....hehehe...eh, ada yang belon tau kl dia ngaku duda mati dgn 3y.o. daughter? hihihi...yach, telat, deh!) yang ditinggal di UK jatuh d/ ayunan yang barusan dibelikan sebelum dia out ke india, dan tuh daughter unconcious di RS dengan patah kaki & cedera kepala. Ada yang pengen tau apakah aku ikutan panik? hehehe....anehnya, enggak tuh! Mungkin krn ada sesuatu yg ganggu pikiranku waktu dia bilang masalah anaknya...yang nti tak ceritakan di bawah. Lah...terus ini yang bikin pagar besi di kepalaku mencuat dan nutup....hihihi....tuh cowok blg dia kesulitan ngirim uang biaya RS ke penjaga anaknya, krn ntah kenapa semua western union di india gak bisa ngirim, cuma bisa nerima. Lah, masak???? Trus dia minta tolong aku minjemin dia duit dan dikirimkan ke orgnya itu di UK via western union... Lah, bau tikusnya jd makin tercium keras di hidungku. Aku nolak, dgn alasan aku cuma punya dana paling banter 75 poundsterling dan belon pernah berurusan dgn western union. Pikirku, mana bisa 75 poundsterling buat biaya RS...hehehe....dikit banget! Aku kasih saran u/ transfer aja antar bank, katanya penjaga anaknya itu gak punya bank account karena bangkrut sebelum kerja ke dia. Tuh cowok ngotot minta dikirimin seadanya dulu, dgn janji akan dikembalikan pada waktu dia sampe di sby hari minggu besok. Dasarnya aku emang rada gak percaya, ya aku tetap nolak, dengan menghaluskan alasan....hehehe.....dan aku bilang spy dia batalin aja visitnya ke indo, toh lebih penting ngurus anaknya.....bener kan??????? Lah masak trus dia bilang apa aku tega nyuruh dia balik ke UK terus balik lagi ke JKT???? Ya aku bilang gak nyuruh dia balik u/ penuhi janji visit aku.....pokoknya urus aja dulu anaknya (kalo emang bener anaknya.....hehehe....). Nti kalo Tuhan emang niat, pasti dibukakan jalan u/ visit aku....bener kan???? Jadilah qta berpisah dengan saling marahan...hehehe....walaupun cuma dalam kata-2 di komputer....hehehe....

Td malam aku gak online, niat ngetes emang....bener gak feelingku kalo dia tuh a fraud.....hehehe, lumayan tidur lebih d/ 8 jam, sambil ngilangin gejala-2 flu yang mulai hinggap....hehehe....
Pagi ini aku cek, tidak ada offline messages kayak biasanya kalo aku gak muncul malam sebelumnya. Aku cek di lavalife, profile dia udah gak ada, padahal kemarin msh nongkrong. Hehehe....berarti bener kan....a fraud! Herannya, loh, berani-2nya mencoba nipu, padahal selama chatting aku pernah cerita tentang netter-2 yang mencoba-2 berbohong dan bertipudaya, tetapi aku selalu krasa dan bisa tau sebelum semuanya masuk terlalu jauh. Orang kok gak belajar d/ sejarah toh ya? hehehe....

Oke, sekarang aku ceritakan kecurigaanku masalah anaknya. Cuma Nia yang pegang fotonya, yg dikirim ke aku selasa sebelumnya. Rabu pagi itu, aku buka lagi tuh foto.....eh, anak itu emang cute banget loh, bener gak, Nia? Lah, terus aku liat name tag di dadanya....hihihi...coba liat deh, Nia.....rasane nama yang tertulis di situ bukan nama yg dikasihkan ke aku.....hihihi....bengong dong, aku....hehehe...!

Terus masalah jewelry yang katanya dia belikan untuk aku....Inget Nia, qta berkomentar yg sama, kok kayaknya tuh foto diambil dari etalase? hehehe....

Belum semua hal-hal kecil yang tidak terjelaskan selama qta chatting...hihihi....aku cerewet, sih, semua-2 ditanyain....hehehe....! Hal-hal aneh kayak ngapain immigration officer ada urusan di India (lah, emang CIA? hehehe...), kenapa kok dia gak contact konsulat di Indo u/ bantu organize his visit plan (alasannya dia skrg lg gak di kantornya....lah, kayak dia lagi terlibat illegal works, toh? hehehe...), atau bahkan ngapain dia gak minta bantuan temannya di UK u/ urusan anaknya itu ketimbang ngandalin orang asing, yang bahkan tidak berada di UK.....hehehe....!

Okay, dah jelas semua? hehehe...jadi qta tutup aja bukunya dan tuolooooooong jgn dibicarakan lagi yach? hihihi.....bukannya broken heart.....sungguh, ternyata salah...hehehe.... Lebih sakit hati ngadepin yg 3 thn sebelum ini....hihihi....lain cerita, tp gak usah minta diceritain...hihihi.....! Emang rabu malam itu sakit hati banget, bukannya karena patah hati, tapi rasane lebih karena bertengkarnya itu...hihihi....dan karena jelas-2 bakalan kehilangan teman ngobrol lagi! Buktinya, td malam bisa tidur enak, gak penasaran, gak kelimpungan mikirin....dan pagi ini bisa dgn tenang bekerja dan ngakuin ternyata dia benar penipu....hehehe....! Hanya satu rasa berterima kasih pada cowok ini...hihihi, masih bawa untung loh dia....hehehe....karena chatting dengan nih cowok berhasil bantu aku melewatkan suatu tanggal penting dengan tertawa....bukannya dengan sad memories....hehehe...bagus, kan?

Bagus sekali Wati! Kamu bisa pakai akal sehatmu, dan nggak cuman ngikutin perasaan. Lebih bagus lagi karena kamu bisa melihat nilai positif dibalik kejadian ini. So, aku salut sama kamu. You deserve a good loving man. I pray for you, always!

Kisah Anak Penjual Kue

2007-10-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

Selesai berlibur dari kampung, saya harus kembali ke Jakarta. Mengingat jalan tol yang juga padat, saya menyusuri jalan lama. Terasa mengantuk, saya singgah sebentar di sebuah restoran. Begitu memesan makanan, seorang anak lelaki berusia lebih kurang 12 tahun muncul di depan.

"Abang mau beli kue?" Katanya sambil tersenyum. Tangannya segera menyelak daun pisang yang menjadi penutup bakul kue jajanannya. "Tidak Dik, Abang sudah pesan makanan," jawab saya ringkas. dia berlalu.

Begitu pesanan tiba, saya langsung menikmatinya. Lebih kurang 20 menit kemudian saya melihat anak tadi menghampiri pelanggan lain, sepasang suami istri sepertinya. Mereka juga menolak, dia berlalu begitusaja.

"Abang sudah makan, tak mau beli kue saya?" tanyanya tenang ketika menghampiri meja saya.

"Abang baru selesai makan Dik, masih kenyang nih," kata saya sambil menepuk-nepuk perut. Dia pergi, tapi cuma di sekitar restoran. Sampai di situ dia meletakkan bakulnya yang masih penuh. Setiap yang lalu dia tanya, "Tak mau beli kue saya Bang, Pak... Kakak atau Ibu." Molek budi bahasanya.

Pemilik restoran itupun tak melarang dia keluar masuk restorannya menemui pelanggan. Sambil memperhatikan, terbersit rasa kagum dan kasihan di hati saya melihat betapa gigihnya dia berusaha. Tidak nampak keluh kesah atau tanda-tanda putus asa dalam dirinya, sekalipun orang yang ditemuinya enggan membeli kuenya.

Setelah membayar harga makanan dan minuman, saya terus pergi ke mobil. Anak itu saya lihat berada agak jauh di deretan kedai yang sama. Saya buka pintu, membetulkan duduk dan menutup pintu. Belum sempat saya menghidupkan mesin, anak tadi berdiri di tepi mobil. Dia menghadiahkan sebuah senyuman. Saya turunkan kaca
jendela. Membalas senyumannya.

"Abang sudah kenyang, tapi mungkin Abang perlukan kue saya untuk adik- adik, Ibu atau Ayah abang," katanya sopan sekali sambil tersenyum.

Sekali lagi dia memamerkan kue dalam bakul dengan menyelak daun pisang penutupnya.

Saya tatap wajahnya, bersih dan bersahaja. Terpantul perasaan kasihan di hati. Lantas saya buka dompet, dan mengulurkan selembar uang Rp 20.000,- padanya.
"Ambil ini Dik! Abang sedekah... Tak usah Abang beli kue itu." Saya berkata ikhlas karena perasaan kasihan meningkat mendadak.

Anak itu menerima uang tersebut, lantas mengucapkan terima kasih terus berjalan kembali ke kaki lima deretan kedai. Saya gembira dapat membantunya.

Setelah mesin mobil saya hidupkan. Saya memundurkan. Alangkah terperanjatnya saya melihat anak itu mengulurkan Rp 20.000,- pemberian saya itu kepada seorang pengemis yang buta kedua-dua matanya. Saya terkejut, saya hentikan mobil, memanggil anak itu.
"Kenapa Bang, mau beli kue kah?" tanyanya.

"Kenapa Adik berikan duit Abang tadi pada pengemis itu? Duit itu Abang berikan ke Adik!" kata saya tanpa menjawab pertanyaannya.

"Bang, saya tak bisa ambil duit itu. Emak marah kalau dia tahu saya mengemis. Kata emak kita mesti bekerja mencari nafkah karena Allah. Kalau dia tahu saya bawa
duit sebanyak itu pulang, sedangkan jualan masih banyak, Mak pasti marah. Kata Mak mengemis kerja orang yang tak berupaya, saya masih kuat Bang!" katanya begitu
lancar. Saya heran sekaligus kagum dengan pegangan hidup anak itu. Tanpa banyak soal saya terus bertanya berapa harga semua kue dalam bakul itu.

"Abang mau beli semua kah?" dia bertanya dan saya cuma mengangguk. Lidah saya
kelu mau berkata. "Rp 25.000,- saja Bang...." Selepas dia memasukkan satu persatu kuenya ke dalam plastik, saya ulurkan Rp 25.000,-. Dia mengucapkan terima kasih dan terus pergi. Saya perhatikan dia hingga hilang dari pandangan.

Dalam perjalanan, baru saya terpikir untuk bertanya statusnya. Anak yatim kah? Siapakah wanita berhati mulia yang melahirkan dan mendidiknya? Terus terang saya katakan, saya beli kuenya bukan lagi atas dasar kasihan, tetapi rasa kagum dengan sikapnya yang dapat menjadikan kerjanya suatu penghormatan. Sesungguhnya saya kagum dengan sikap anak itu. Dia menyadarkan saya, siapa kita sebenarnya.
********************************

Veyke mengirim cerita ini dan sungguh mengharukan bahwa anak seperti dalam kisah ini ada dimana-mana, gak cuman di Indonesia aja. Yang bikin sebel itu pengemis-pengemis di Amrik. Mereka suka karang-karang cerita. Satu dari mereka bahkan pernah nulis di card-board gini,"Whole family killed by ninja. I'm the only survivor." Lucu tapi gak lucu.
Banyak kok cara yang bisa kita lakukan untuk bantu anak-anak jalanan seperti dalam kisah ini. Seperti Esther yang selalu otomatis tergerak hatinya melihat anak-anak jalanan. Kuingat dia bantu bayarin sekolah anak penjual majalah di kafe deket jalan Arjua. Dulu aku biasa punya stok snack (chiki, wafer, coklat, air mineral) di mobil buat anak-anak asongan di Surabaya. Atau waktu di Guatemala, tiap hari aku masak meal dan snack buat anak-anak penjual tipica (Guatemalan handcrafts).
Makin banyak dari kita yang membantu mereka, aku rasa harga diri mereka akan terbentuk dan mereka akan bisa survive.

Donkey Lessons

2007-09-23T13:16:00.000-07:00

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the
well needed to be covered up anyway;
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

- Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

- Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

- Live simply and appreciate what you have.

- Give more.

- Expect less.

NOW ............

Enough of that crap . The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

***********************
Thanks Vey! You sent it just in the right time. Really inspiring and give me strenght to go on.

Puasa

2007-09-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Temen dari Jogja yang sekarang sedang mengambil master masalah gender di UT (University of Texas) mengirimkan artikel ini. Semoga ini bisa menjadi bahan refleksi keimanan kita, gak cuman buat muslim doang. Gunawan Mohammad memang bener2 luarbiasa! Selamat (ikutan) berpuasa yah!

********

DI hari-hari ini saya berpuasa dan merasakan sebuah privilese: saya dihormati. Dengan tekad saya sendiri saya berniat tak makan dan tak minum sejak dini hari hingga senja; selama itu saya sadar bahwa akan ada saat-saat saya bisa tergoda—tetapi saya selamat. Saya siap untuk terganggu, tetapi lihat: saya tak boleh diganggu.

Privilese itu kini sudah seperti sesuatu yang semestinya. Demi ibadah saya, yang saya niatkan sendiri, orang-orang lain tak bisa pergi pijat karena selama sebulan semua panti pijat harus ditutup—meskipun ini bukan tempat yang mesum sama sekali—dan sekian ratus pemijat tidak mendapatkan penghasilan. Demi ibadah saya, orang-orang lain tidak dapat minum minuman beralkohol selama kurang-lebih 30 hari, siang dan malam—meskipun mereka lazim melakukannya sebagai bagian dari hidup mereka—karena bar tak boleh buka dan kalaupun ada restoran buka, bir, anggur, wiski, konyak, vodka, dan lain-lain harus masuk kotak.

Terkadang saya tak tahu apakah saya merasa bangga, atau bersyukur, atau merasa bersalah, ketika di mana-mana dipasang anjuran: ”Hormatilah Orang yang Berpuasa”.

Tentu saja sikap menghormati adalah sebuah sikap yang bisa datang dari hati yang ikhlas dan sukarela. Tapi sikap itu juga bisa diperlihatkan khalayak ramai karena aturan pemerintah, para ulama, atau tekanan lain yang menakutkan. Kita sekarang tidak tahu yang mana yang menentukan. Jika ada polisi atau petugas kota praja—belum lagi kelompok orang galak yang dengan gampang menyerbu dan merusak—yang membuat penghormatan itu berlaku, saya tak pernah yakin sejauh mana penghormatan (atau lebih tepat ”apresiasi”) yang ikhlas yang sedang saya rasakan. Jangan-jangan semuanya adalah penghormatan (atau lebih tepat ”sikap merunduk”) yang dengan gerutu.

Tapi di sebuah negeri yang tak jarang memperdagangkan kepalsuan, akhirnya soal seperti itu tak dipersoalkan. Pokoknya: saya berpuasa, sebab itu saya harus dihormati.

Namun saya tak hendak mengomel. Sebab menghormati orang yang berpuasa dapat berangkat dari sebuah alasan yang bagus. Ramadan sering dikatakan sebagai bulan yang dekat dengan rohani. Tetapi tak kurang dari itu Ramadan sebenarnya menekankan pentingnya tubuh—justru dengan mengaktualisasikan tubuh yang tak penuh. Bulan ini adalah bulan yang berbicara tentang kondisi dasar manusia yang paling kurang. Puasa adalah penegasan diriku sebagai sesuatu yang lapar dan juga retak: sebagai aku yang ingin dan tak mendapat, aku yang menolak untuk rakus tapi juga merasa sakit.

Tapi saya, yang berpuasa ini, juga sering tak menyadari bahwa puasa dapat memberi diri sesuatu yang sama sekali bertentangan: rasa berkelebihan, bahkan supremasi. Aku seakan-akan dalam kesucian, sebagai yang ”berkorban” dan juga sebagai yang ”tak najis”. Orang lain? Mereka dosa, loba, penuh syahwat—pendeknya lebih nista dari diriku.

Itu barangkali asal mula orang lain dituntut untuk menghormati aku. Kalau tidak, orang lain harus aku jauhi. Kalau tidak, orang lain harus aku tobatkan. Aku, si suci, harus meniadakannya sebagaimana dia adanya, dengan menyisihkan atau mengubahnya.

Salah satu problem besar dunia ialah bahwa kita sering menemukan wajah yang bertentangan seperti saya sebut tadi dari orang yang berpuasa—atau dari orang dalam ibadat yang mana pun. Kontradiksi ini disembunyikan atau ditekan karena wacana yang ada diberi sanksi oleh sebuah bayangan tentang Yang Maha Kuasa dan Maha Sempurna yang menuntut keutuhan dan kekuatan, bukan sebuah bayangan tentang Yang Maha Rahman dan Rahim yang mengampuni si daif dan si retak-cacat.

Dalam wajah yang lapar, yang dekat dengan tubuh, dalam kekurangan dan kefanaan, manusia hadir mau tak mau mengalami dirinya bukan sebagai sebuah ide, bukan sebuah konsep yang abstrak. Perut yang meminta nasi dan tenggorokan yang sedikit bau basah tidak ada dalam Manusia dengan ”M”. Seraya bersentuhan dalam sifatnya yang konkret, manusia mengalami dan menyadari apa artinya perubahan, apa perlunya perbedaan dari waktu ke waktu, perbedaan dari satu situasi ke situasi lain.

Tetapi bila puasa bukan menandaskan wajah yang lapar, melainkan kesucian diri yang penuh, manusia merasa seakan-akan berada di atas segala situasi, di luar waktu, tak tersentuh perubahan, dan perubahan bahkan dapat berarti najis.

Di hari-hari ini saya berpuasa—dan apakah gerangan yang tumbuh dalam diri saya? Sesuatu yang menghargai yang fana dan sebab itu berterima kasih atas setiap momen empati? Atau sesuatu yang meminta dihormati, karena aku adalah sebuah prestasi, sebuah posisi di atas sana, di mana yang kekal dan sempurna mengangkatku?

Jika saya harus menjawab, saya akan mengatakan: saya takut dihormati.

Goenawan Mohamad

Bamboo Fern

2007-09-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality...
I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer
surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I
gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its
brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I
did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and
plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on
the bamboo." He said.

"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not
quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not
quit." He said.

"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the
fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the
bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots.

Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not
give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me.
"Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have
actually been growing roots?"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."

"Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different
purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and bring back this story. I hope these words can help you
see that God will never give up on you. He will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in your life.
Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are
essential to life

(Thanks to Veyke who forwarded this beautiful story. It's really inspiring!)

Misa Indonesia Pertamaku di Austin

2007-09-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

Hari itu Kamis siang di Austin, Texas. Di Costco food court, tempatku bekerja, pengunjung mulai ramai antri untuk lunch. Tiba-tiba, "Hai, Maria! Apa kabar?" Ternyata Lily Widodo, salah satu customerku yang berasal dari Malang, Indonesia. Setelah basa basi sejenak, Lily mengajakku untuk datang ke misa Indonesia tanggal 9 September jam 2pm. Aku ragu, karena itu berarti kurang dari 2 minggu waktu yang kuperlukan untuk minta ijin off dari managerku. Plus, minggu itu aku dan beberapa teman di food department dijadwalkan temu muka dengan manager regional. Setelah tahu situasiku, Lily menawarkan dirinya untuk memintakan ijin buatku. Tapi saat itu managerku sedang tidak ada ditempat. "Pokoknya kamu mesti dateng. Biar bisa kenal teman-teman Indonesia yang lain. Kalau ada masalah sama bos, bilang saya, ntar saya bantuin deh!" Begitu gigihnya Lily! Ha ha..

Dalam perjalanan pulang, aku mikir gimana enaknya minta ijin. Tapi, sampai akhir minggu itu pun, aku tetap belum menemukan jawaban. Aku bahkan udah sampai pada taraf 'pikiran curang': call-in-sick (minta ijin sakit) pada minggu itu. Tapi, hari Senin, Mike -manager dari department lain- menemui aku dan minta bantuanku untuk bekerja 'temporarily' di departemennya mulai minggu depan. "OK, Mike. But I need to ask you one little favor." Kuutarakan situasiku, and Mike said, "That's it? Alright then. You only work weekdays and you'll get all weekend hanging out with your friends and families." Oh my God! This is way beyond my expectation! Thank you Lord! Jadi aku gak perlu susah-susah ngarang cerita ini itu, atau bahkan pura-pura sakit. Tuhan sungguh baik.

Akhirnya, minggu itu datanglah. Aku ke rumah Lily dan bersama-sama keluarganya kita ke UCC (University Catholic Center) di kompleks UT (University of Texas) di downtown Austin. Aku sengaja gak ajak Loel, karena kupikir ntar cuman misa dan sekedar acara gathering kecil-kecilan. Misa berlangsung lancar dengan Romo Fajar, OFM. yang ditugaskan di paroki New Braunfels. Sebenarnya misinya di San Antonio, tapi berhubung di New Braunfels lagi kosong gembala ya udah beliau yang jadi 'single fighter' disana. Ada sedikit 'insiden' saat komuni. Romo kehabisan hosti! Dengan sigapnya, Lily langsung lari ke ruangan atas untuk ambil extra. Insiden teratasi! Thanks to Lily!

Selesai misa, Romo minta para mahasiswa baru UT untuk maju ke depan. Lily dengan semangatnya mengangkat tangan sambil berseru, "Romo...Romo...ini ada anggota baru juga tolong dipanggil!" sambil tangan satunya menunjuk diriku. Walhasil, aku ikutan maju bersama sekitar selusin mahasiswa baru. Setelah perkenalan sejenak, Romo perciki kita dengan air suci lalu memberikan berkat dan doanya.

Selesai misa, kita menuju rumah Inneke Widjaja yang dijadikan 'stasiun kongkow' kali ini. Sayang sekali, Romo Fajar gak bisa ikutan karena beliau mesti balik ke parokinya untuk bertemu dengan para orangtua sekolah minggu. Masuk rumah Inneke, harum aroma masakan Indonesia langsung nabrak hidung! Opor ayam, sambel goreng ati-rempelo, gado-gado, lemper, risoles, es tape, dan masih banyak lagi lainnya. Oh, betapa rinduku pada masakan tanah air! Para mudika yang semuanya adalah mahasiswa UT dan keluarga-keluarga katolik lainnya udah pada ramai ngobrol didalam. Kuhitung-hitung ada sekitar 80 orang! Lily - dia ini dijuluki 'Bu RT' di komunitas Indonesia di Austin ha..ha..- bilang, "Ini belum semuanya, karena mereka yang hadir disini cuman yang katolik. Tapi setidaknya kamu sekarang tahu bahwa kamu punya banyak teman disini." Benar-benar menakjubkan!

Acara kumpul dan makan-makan ini bisa dibilang 'Java potluck party'. Why? Karena hampir semua yang hadir disana berasal dari tanah Jawa. Bahasa Jawa ngoko dan Suroboyoan mendominasi obrolan. Kita ngobrol mulai soal dimana dapat pete di Austin sampai kondisi politik di tanah air. Semua yang kutemui menanyakan kenapa suamiku gak diajak. Aku bilang dia lagi sibuk, maybe next time. Tak terasa, malam tiba. Saat pulang, aku masih dibekali Lily frozen papaya leaves! Lumayan....bisa tak bikin jangan godhong kates..yuum...yuuum..!

Sampai dirumah, aku cerita ke Loel dengan semangat 45 tentang acara tadi dan bagaimana orang-orang menanyakan dirinya. Loel dengan pasang muka sedih bilang, "I thought I was not invited. You didn't ask me to go with you." Ya ampun! Lha aku kira dia yang mau stay home. Aku langsung menghiburnya, "Next time, kita bisa bikin acara pemberkatan rumah dan undang mereka dan kita bikin Indonesian pot luck party lagi. How's that, hun?" Dan dia kembali pasang muka ceria, kaya arek cilik yang baru dikasih permen ha..ha..

Anyway, misa Indonesia pertamaku di Austin sungguh-sungguh berkesan. Acara sesudahnya pun benar-benar membawaku ke masa di saat aku masih di Surabaya dulu. Betapa indahnya making new friends in a new land. Loel teased me, "Kalau sejak dulu kita tahu ada komunitas Indonesia begini, mungkin kamu gak perlu sampai ngamar di hospital." I think he's right! Ha ha..

Tuhan Yesus, Ini owe, A Cong...

2007-09-12T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ini sebuah kisah nyata yang menarik dan menyentuh. Ada seorang laki-laki paruh baya, umur 50 tahunan. Ia dipanggil A Cong (Ah Chong, ejaan inggrisnya). Miskin, tetapi jujur dan tekun. Kejujuran dan ketekunan itu mendapat perhatian seorang pemilik toko material di daerah Glodok, Pinangsia, Jakarta. A Cong diangkat menjadi CEO (chief exec.officer) atau penanggung jawab penuh toko tersebut. Usaha material itu meraup sukses luar biasa.

Sedemikian sibuknya A Cong di toko itu melayani pembeli, sampai ia tak sempat makan dengan teratur. Bahkan tidak jarang ia makan sambil tetap melayani. Tetapi, di tengah kesibukannya, setiap jam 12 siang ia menyempatkan diri berlari ke sebuah gereja di dekat situ. Dan itu ia lakukan tiap hari, sudah lebih dari tiga setengah tahun. Sampai pada suatu hari kecurigaan pastor paroki gereja tersebut memuncak. Ia telah memperhatikan dan mengamati fenomena aneh ini di gerejanya. A Cong datang di pintu gereja, hanya berdiri saja, membuat tanda salib, lalu segera bablas lagi. Ritual itu setia dilakukan A Cong, tiap-tiap hari, itu-itu saja. Adakah udang dibalik batu??? Jangan-jangan ..... ??

Romo yang penasaran itu akhirnya mencari kesempatan menghadang si A Cong, dan bertanya tanpa basa-basi lagi : Maaf, Cek (panggilan menghormat bagi laki2 Tionghoa; "Encek", red.), kenapa Encek saben hari datang jam 12 begini, cuman berdiri aja di pintu, bikin tanda salib, terus cepet-cepet pergi?" Kaget, si A Cong menjawab tersipu: "Hah?!... Lomo, owe ini olang sibuk, owe cuman punya waktu seliki, tapi owe seneng dateng kemali." Jelas, Romo belum puas dan terus mendesak: Emangnya apa yang Encek lakukan di pintu gereja gitu?" Jawab A Cong dengan polos: "Ngga ada apa2. Benel ! Owe cuman bilang ini doang: Tuhan Yesus, ini owe, A Cong. Uuudah !" Terbengong, hanya "Oh....!" yang bisa dilontarkan sang Romo. Dan A Cong pun bergegas kembali ke tokonya.

Pada suatu hari A Cong sakit parah karena super sibuk dan makan sekenanya, tidak teratur. Komplikasi penyakitnya cukup berat sehingga ia dilarikan ke rumah sakit. Karena A Cong bukan orang kaya, maka ia menempati kamar kelas 3, satu kamar dihuni 8 orang pasien. Sejak masuknya A Cong, kamar itu menjadi ceria, penuh canda tawa. Tak terasa 3 bulan sudah A Cong dirawat. Ia pun sembuh dan diperbolehkan pulang. Ia gembira, tentunya. Tetapi teman-teman sekamarnya bersedih. Selama dirawat itu, semua sesama pasien dihiburnya. A Cong setiap pagi menghampiri teman-teman pasiennya, satu per satu, dan menanyakan keadaan masing-masing. Sayang, sekarang A Cong harus pulang dan kamar itu akan kembali sunyi. Akhirnya salah seorang sesama pasien mencoba bertanya: "Eh Cek A Cong, mau nanya nih. Kenapa sih Encek begitu gembira, dan selalu gembira, padahal penyakit Encek 'kan serius?" Acong tercenung dan menjawab "Saben ali yam lua welas, yah, ada olang laki lambut gondlong dateng, megang kaki saya, dia bilang: A Cong, ini aku, Yesus Kristus. Gimana owe nggak seneng, coba..."

Aku terus terang jadi malu. Aku yang masih punya waktu lebih daripada si A Cong, tapi kadang masih suka cari-cari alasan buat 'mungkir' dari misa, yang notabene cuman sekali seminggu. Lha si A Cong ini malah saban hari nyempet-nyempetin lari ke greja TIAP JAM 12, TIAP HARI! Kita gak perlu kok seperti A Cong yang tiap hari mesti lari ke greja. Tapi, setidaknya, sesibuk-sibuknya kita, coba sisihkan waktu untuk 'bersama' Tuhan Yesus. Gimana caranya? Tergantung kita masing-masing. God bless you!